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Shyness is taking over my life!!
I'm really shy, always have been! don't really have that many friends at school, I mean, I have friends, but i'm not popular.. Everyday I get asked by atleast 3 people why I am so quiet? why do people ask that? it's obviously because I am shy. Why does it bother people so much, I mean I am not doing anything to them! I feel like everyday people are judging me, talking about me, etc. I want to know how to overcome shyness I want to have fun in highschool, because right now I dread going everyday! I know in order to overcome it you have to learn to talk to people but it's not that easy, I never know what to say! I don't like expressing my feelings to people. Also, when people ask me why I am so quiet what can I say back to them? because, I never know how to answer their questions..
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I used to get this question all the time. Just ask them back, "Why do you have to be so loud?"
People don't like what they don't understand. Most people aren't very self-aware, and get scared when they see someone intelligent enough to entertain themselves within their own mind. Most people feel uncomfortable with themselves, so much so that they hate being alone in silence with their own thoughts. Lots of people are actually afraid to be quiet, afraid to look within themselves. Actually, when you're pretty quiet, what you say has a much bigger impact than when you're constantly chattering.
However, don't think that because you're not as chatty as other people that you can't have friends.
To relax, take deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
This breathing relaxes people immensely, and others will be drawn to you when you're relaxed.
Also, smiling attracts people.
Do you want to hang around with someone always moping around, quiet or not?
No! Of course not!
Smile at people wherever you go, and they'll see that you're happy and confident (even if you're really not).
When you're talking to people, there's a game you can play to keep the conversation going.
Pick one word from what the other person says and expand on that, without actually telling them you're playing this game. Just do it in your head. For example:
You: "Do you play any sports?"
Them: "Well, I'm really into swimming."
You: "Swimming? I love to go swimming! Where do you swim?"
Them: "I have a pool in my backyard, actually."
You: "Really? That's awesome! You know, I used to have a pool at my old house, before I moved."
Them: "Where did you live before?"
Etc.
Good luck.
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Hey there,
I know what it is like to be shy too. I find that what you have to do, is start by doing something little. When you are sitting in the hall or walking by someone, say hi to them. It is one word that will make people want to get to know you and that will make you seem open to meeting them and finding out their interests. Do not forget to smile while doing this task :)
I believe people ask you why you are quiet because they are not used to someone being subtle the way you are around others. I don't think it bothers people, they are just curious as to why you don't interact as much as some other people may. People aren't always judging you or talking about you, even though it may seem that way at times.
To overcome your shyness, smile, say "Hi (insert name here)" to everyone you pass by, stand up straight, and positively comment the person or something they do. If someone is talking to you, say "I like that too!", "Thats cool", "you seem good at that", "I bet that is fun", or "I like your _____". Saying "I like your _____" will usually make someone stop and talk to you. If they say "thanks", say "your welcome" and ask where they got it from. Keep the conversation going by commenting on what they are talking about, tell them something that relates to what they are talking about by telling them something you have seen/done/want, or ask a topic-related question. You can ask a question such as: "how long have you been doing that for?", "Do you go there often?", "how do you like that?", or "what is it like there?". Asking questions shows you are interested and want to know more about what they are talking about.
When people ask you why you are so quiet, smile at them and say "because I am unique" or "because I like it". No matter what, be yourself. It doesn't matter if you are really shy, because there is always someone out there that is outgoing that will come right up to you and want to talk to you, be friends with you, make you more involved, or make you laugh. It is not the quantity of friends you have that matter, it is the quality of your friends :) You can look past your shyness... start small, then work your way up to conversations in time. It is always the small talk anyhow that makes people eventually want to talk to you more, so go for it! <3
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