Question Posted Tuesday September 14 2010, 11:21 pm
I've always kind of been the black sheep in my family. I love them and want to stay on good terms with them, but I feel like I have to act like a totally different person around them. When I am with my friends, I have a good time, I don't feel like I have to hold back, and I can be myself. I guess I first started noticing this on Facebook. I am "Facebook friends" with both my family and my friends/acquaintances. But it feels like I constantly have to monitor what I am putting up and what my friends are saying. If I act like the "real me" around my family, I am looked down upon by them. They are very conservative, and I am more free-spirited and unconventional. I don't want their disapproval of me, because I know that I may need their support/advice later on in life. So in that respect I have a good bond with them. But I am barely 18 years old and getting ready to begin college, and I feel like I need this time to be young and explore! How do I be myself and live my life without shaming my family or hurting their feelings?
There is such a thing as monitoring what others see. If you go into the privacy tab, you can completely limit what your friends may see on your profile. You can set the limits accordingly, and once you save the changes, your family will only see what you made it possible to be seen. This way, you can communicate with your friends without feeling shameful or guilty.
If you don't want to change your privacy settings, delete your family from your Facebook. There is no unwritten rule that says you must add them. It's completely your decision. Do not feel obligated to keep them there if you don't want to. I have family on my Facebook, and I speak my mind regardless, but if I don't want them to see what I have to say, I either limit their visuals, or I delete them. [ christina's advice column | Ask christina A Question ]
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