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Rivalry, Jealousy, Resentment, Hate or just misguided Love???
My wife and I are the youngest siblings on both sides of our family. We are also the most flamboyant, outspoken, aggressive, open to share our feelings, laid back, happy go lucky, non-opioninated, loving, careing and trusting members of our entire family.
At one time or another we have gone well beyond the call of duty, both financially and emotionally, to provide for or nurture our parents and our siblings. We have invested in their lives in their time of need and we did it willingly and gladly and from the bottom of our heart.
In the last few years my wife and I have been going through some difficult times with our business and have suffered financially. We turned to our family for help and they did for a while. However, they now seem to be using our current situation as a reason to vent alot of pinned up negative emotions they have obviously been harboring for quite some time.
The loving family that we took care of when we could and they could not, is not interested in taking care of us in our time need. In fact they are now going out of their way to hurt us !!!
How could they forget what we did for them and even think about being dceitful and mean spirited.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
While you may have been helpful to family members in the paste, it appears that they may have been rather resentful all along.
Perhaps they found you and your wife overbearing or pushy? Perhaps they felt too much advice came with the help? Perhaps they never cared for the youngest being in a position to help? Were they embarrassed to need your help? There could be many reasons why they were resentful. It could be about you and your wife, or it could have nothing to do with you and be all about them.
Whatever, you and your wife clearly did not see your family and the relationships anywhere near the same. It's a pity they could not have said something a long time ago.
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You describe yourselves as outspoken and aggresive yet laid back and non-opinionated. Those things conflict. I'm wondering if your lack of awareness (or honesty) about how others perceive you might also be coloring your view of how your family is treating you now. Maybe you THINK you were being supportive but it really came off as "high and mighty" and arrogant. If it really bothers you, ask someone you can talk to in your family (mom, dad, a close sister or uncle). Ask them to be honest with you and tell them that you feel hurt and don't really understand why help is being denied to you when you feel you've been so helpful. The answers might not be what you want to hear, but they may be just what you need to hear. and don't forget, you helped them because you loved them (right?), not for a reward or anything in return, so try not to resent them. They don't "owe" you, that's not why you did it.
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You really don't give enough detail here for anyone to provide you with very specific advice on how to deal with the resentment that is going around.
However, you need to take a deep breath and slip down off the high horse. You supported your family members willingly because that was how you understood and choose to interact with family. Other people are free to understand and choose to interact with family differently. Yes, that can very hurtful and can seem unfair, but it's not unfair - it's the nature of life.
Look for support elsewhere, and remove yourself from any situations with them were the can do you harm.
Whatever the reasons are your families have shown you they are not willing, or maybe just inable, to met your expectations right now. If you keep trying to push them to conform to your standards of behavoir and family-ness, you'll only drive the knife deeper into them, and yourselves.
Stop asking for support or affection that isn't coming.
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