|
Child custody/ Visitation
I just had a baby girl who is 6 weeks old and was never married to the father. I live in NY. I am breast feeding and will be off of work possibly until she is 4 months old. My question is what is a common visitation schedule when the father lives an hour away. Currently he comes about 2-3 days a week for about 3 hours. I would like to avoid overnight stays for as long as possible. Any advice?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
I think the fact that you are nursing your baby takes priority over any other aspect of this situation. Of course, you can pump your breasts to collect the milk and then freeze it for later use, if you decide to do that. The bonding that comes from a mother and child during nursing is one of the most comforting things you two can share. I would not take that from either of you until you feel ready. I would not rush the overnight stays because of this one fact.
]
I am not sure what the state parenting guidelines are for New York, but generally when a child is younger than 4 months, it is vital for the child's perception of it's parents to see them consistently for shorter periods of time. Because newborns do not have recollection of their memories, him seeing his daughter for 2 hour intervals every other day, at least 3 days a week is the best way for his daughter to remember him as she progresses to an older age. At 5 months old, she will have a lot better memory and can fully remember objects and people, so at that stage in her life, longer periods of time, say three hours, four times a week, would be important for him. Generally overnights are not granted until she is over a year old if he has been consistently in her life. Before that age, your daughter needs to be nurtured in one comfortable environment, especially when she sleeps, so that she feels safe and secure.
]
I would tell him that weekends or every other weekends during the day is sufficient enough for now until you two can actually talk about what you feel is appropriate. Mainly, men only get weekends or every other weekends, and maybe you can develop into sending your baby with him, but for now, I would tell him day visits only, and only on weekends. Hope this helps, good luck
]
More Questions: |