|
Am I selfish?
Hi, 18/m. ( live in the uk if it helps)
Basically, here's my situation. I live with my mother, my parents have been separated for years as my father was an alcoholic and I don't see him, nor do I want to. Recently, my sister and her boyfriend have moved in with us so that they could save some money for a deposit for a house, and so they will be moving out.
I just finished college (so I guess high school as an equivalent) and before I go to university, I'm taking a year out to save some money. My mum wants me to go to university in the city that we live in. We have 2 universities- one which is in the top 10 best universities, and the other which isn't great at all. I would ideally like to go to a university somewhere in the middle I.e. Out of the city, but my mother really wants me to stay at home as she is I'll with arthritis, as well as other problems. I understand where she is coming from as she will be living alone etc.
So my question, am I selfish for wanting to leave the city? My grades are not good enough to go to the good uni, but the bad university isn't much respected. Any help?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I dont think that you are being selfish. your 18 years old, you want some freedom and to be away from your home for a little time. im 17 and just like many other people our age we want to taste freedom, we dont want to be reatrained. i think you should go to the school you want to, just make sure that you visit your mom as much as you can to just make sure that she knows you didnt and wont forget her. that could be what she's worried about,that and your being safe and like most parents dont want their kids to grow up and leave them. my mom keeps tellin me that when im married im still going to live here. parents are afraid to lose their kids and afraid of getting old. you growing up and going onto the university just proves your not her little boy anymore.
]
Go to the bad university and become the top student there.
Your desire to leave town is not selfish, but it would be very honorable and selfless of you to stay in town and take care of your mom. She took care of you for 18 years, didn't she?
]
You are not selfish at all, I faced a similar situation choosing jobs. I ended up going with the one out of town because that was the one that offered better opportunities for me but- at the end of the day- that is what any mother wants. For you to be happy wherever you are.
In any case I'm sure you will find time to go to your mothers house and look after her.
Maybe she will even enjoy the peace and quiet.
]
More Questions: |