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should i leve him, or give him what he wants?
i'm a girl, 16 years old going on 17, and i have been dateing my boyfriend sense March 27, 2010. The problem with dateing him is there's a age gap... we are 5 years apart, or 4 depends on how you look @ it, which means he's 21.
so in the first month of our dateing everything was cool and all we would do is hang out. in the 2nd month, or the middle of the 2nd month there was a prblem, he wanted to have sex. see i know that if we do have sex it would be counted as rape, and he would go to jail and i would be in trouble, BIG TROUBLE. so i told him we should wait. so during may he tells me he wants to change his life and start going to church with me.
one day after church i went with him to go meet his mom, we met and she is a wonderful lady. Then the week after he jumped back on the subject (which he's been jumping on alot even after i said no the 1st time) and he gives me the same lame excuses, "well, if your mine, why can't i have all of you?" or "baby, i love you, and i just wanna show you how much i do" and ect. And every time he gives me those lame excuses, as if i never heard those lines b4, i tell him the same thing "you can wait, and if you can't leve."
now he's never did anything to make me wanna leve him, except bring up the sex subject like 1,000 times and i'm getting tired of it. i've asked some of my friend and some said they would "have sex with him and leve him." some said "jus stop talking to him, he'll get the clue." and others said "screw him like bunnys do, and make the sex so good he wouldn't dare leve."
but i'm not worried about him leveing. if he does, he does. that's how i feel. i just don't know what to do. i realy do like him and we have fun together but i'm tired of telling him no and always talking about it.
what do i do? should i give IT up, or give HIM up?
please, some one give me some advice.
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I read somewhere that when you are sixteen you can have sex with anyone up to age twenty-four. (You might want to double check this fact.) My best advice for you would be to do what you feel is the most comfortable for you. If you believe that you do want to have sex with him, than you should probably start reading law books and see if my fact is right or not. But if you don't want to have sex with him, tell him it is illegal and he can wait one more year. Tell him, you love him enough to think of the legal consequences. If you choose not to have sex with him, the most likely thing that is going to happen is that he was ask you again and again, hoping that you will give into his request. Whichever decision you decide to make, stick to your decision. If he loves you he will (maybe not like) be accept any decision you make. And if you do loose him on account of this, just remember that someone better might be your next boyfriend.
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i dont think you should do either. honestly just keep saying no. he hasnt said he'd break up with you if you didnt give it to him so just go with the flow.
"lets have sex."
"no thanks, wanna watch a move"
"why not"
"lets watch scary movie"
"okay"
case closed. you're not avoiding the subject, you've just got a stern answer. he'll get over it.
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If he can't respect your decision what makes you think he'll respect afterwards. I think you should leave if he can't respect your descision. Or just have a talk and really explain why right now is not the right time. And like always it's all about respect. But your right with if he can't wait then leave. But don't give it just becuase you feel pressured because you won't be satisfied with what you did. You shouldn't worry about his satisfaction only yours!!!!
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Him.
Very mature viewpoint, I have to say. Not many girls I meet who date an older guy and have the self confidence to not buy into their shit or feel like they owe the guy something for being willing to date someone younger.
Walk. He's way more into the idea of sex than he is you. His repeated bringing it up is, point blank, a sign of his lack of respect for you as a person.
Decent guys don't ask. They just make it known that they're horny, and let you make your own decision. They don't beg or cajole or convince. He sounds like a guy who's dating someone younger both because he's too immature to attract anyone his own age, and because he assumes that it'll be easier to get into your pants. You've been dating for less than three months and you're not even 17, this guy isn't worth your time.
Last...
This is going to sound preachy, but work on your writing. Spelling, grammar, etc. You're obviously intelligent, and obviously mature. But 20+ spelling errors in a post make you look like a kid even when you don't act like one. It'll be important later on when you need to convey some degree of professionalism. Work on your writing so that you can better convey who you are the way you would if you were in person.
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I think you know the answer to this.
Tell him what you just told us, and that you don't want him to get in trouble.
Is the only reason you're not having sex with him because of his age? If so, you might want to re-evaluate the situation and do what you both want.
I'm really curious as to whether or not YOU want sex. Because you are just as important as he is. If you're not ready for it, you're not ready for it.
I think you need to tell him that you care about him, but you're not ready. And if he asks you all the time, it's going to ruin the moment when it happens. Explain it's getting annoying.
And like you said, if he leaves, he leaves.
But if he doesn't and he waits for you to be ready, then he's a keeper.
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Hi, well first of all it hasn't even been that long. That brings up the question if thats what he got with you in the first place! Guys can be witty and it seems like you already know, some guys are willing to wait if it means that the girl is giving it up, but it seems like he is just so anxious! Might me more lust than love, in my opinion, you have already told him countless times that you are not ready, and he keeps on persisting i guess he's the type of guy that thinks persistence is key.But I've had my share of guys and believe me there is other guy's that will understand and wait if they truly care. I say you tell him to stop bringing it up for a while until you are closer to 18 and make it clear that if not you are not willing to stay and put it with him bringing it up so often,and if he does it so often DUMP HIM, but DO NOT give it up if you are not entirely sure especially if it's your first time, please have more respect in yourself.If he is not willing to respect your thoughts then dump him, simple as that, i know it's harder said then done, but tell him to be patient there is always other options;) like dry humping or fore-play but that's only if you think you can stop him from going on further.Hope he changes his mind but if not please don't give it up to him GOOOD LUCK:)
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