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Miscarriage advice
How do you get over a miscarriage? It's been 4 years now. Shouldn't it be high time I let that go or will the sadness ever go away? I'm on depression pills due to a breakdown from having a miscarriage and am just wondering if I will ever get any better!?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
you will get better but the pills are doing nothing at all you need to first realize that it did happen then dont blame yourself time will heal all wounds
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Dear Miscarriage advice,
I feel your pain. I had a forced miscarriage when I was 17 years old and have never really let go of the pain. It has been almost 17 years since that day, the most painful day of my life.
The one thing that came to me in your question was that you have had help dwelling over this loss, and it is time you went cold turkey. It would be good for you to stop blaming yourself, let go of the guilt and get back into life without the help of pills.
In the mean time, maybe you should consider another way of looking at this situation. With the information I will pass on to you, you will see what your baby would have been up against.
Some nights I look at my 6 month old daughter and my 11 year old son and cry. Not because I hate being a mom, but because I see the future that awaits them, and I blame myself for bringing them into this world. I often think that if I had known then what I know now, maybe I would have never had children. But I cannot speculate on what if's. I only hope that I can serve my intended purpose when the time comes to support and defend their lives. In the mean time, I can teach them the right way to live, and eventually how survive without me.
Every life is precious, even ones who never had a chance at life. However, the energy of that life is vital to the love that makes this world a livable place. The love you have for a being that you never had the chance to get to know is so profound that it blows my mind. This is why we are here. To love all things.
Have you figured out what caused the miscarriage? That is important if you want to avoid another one, if you plan on having another.
I pass these links to onto everyone, since they are so important to everyone. I love everything and have faith in the love that all beings are capable of feeling. Love will conquer all.
It is the advice of this Doktor that you let go of your guilt over what happened and stop taking the anti-depressants. It cannot be changed and you are killing yourself with despair and pills.
Since I love you, I have nothing but concern for your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Life is worth living and fighting for, so why are you killing yourself with chemicals and guilt?
Get out there and love yourself again. Educate yourself so that you are prepared for when you are put through the real tests of reality.
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I am here anytime you need to talk, vent, or just ask a question. I am here for you.
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It's time to talk to a professional.
Everyone deals with this sort of thing differently. Just with abortions, miscarriage can really damage your mentality. It can cause you more emotional pain than physical. It can leave you with scars and a broken heart. Obviously, it can put you into a deep depression.
You should seek counseling so that you can express your inner concerns, fears, and emotional trauma of the incident. There is nothing to be ashamed of. This happens. You aren't the only one that is having a hard time getting over something like this.
Pregnancy causes hormones to change pretty dramatically. Miscarriage causes them to change, again, very quickly. It can be such a roller coaster that you subconsciously fear it will happen again. It's a great deal of stress on the body. It can take a lot of vitamins and nutrients out of you that you body needs (and, even though it's been 4 years, you should be taking a good multivitamin every day).
Emotionally you lost a baby. Losing a baby isn't easy, even if you never got the chance to meet the little one yet. When you find out you're expecting you get prepared. You start thinking of names, how their personality will be, and what color to paint the room. You don't think of losing them or death. It's what it is.
You may blame yourself for the miscarriage. It's common. Even if you don't realize it, you might do it. It can be hurtful to think you caused a death. I don't think anyone really takes that easily.
Pills aren't going to make everything all better if you aren't fixing the problem. Pills will only cover up the hurt. You need some therapy so that you can move past pills and be yourself again. Pills won't solve the problem. They never do and that's why people are on them for life. If you don't treat the real problem then all you will be doing is masking the hurt with synthetic drugs.
Talk to a doctor. Get some one-on-one help. Discuss how the miscarriage made you feel. Your thoughts on it. Your feelings. How things happened. How everyone reacted. What it was like. Anything and everything. They can help you sort through this. Therapy might not fix it in a day, week, month, or even 4 years. You've been trying the pill thing for awhile now and it's, obviously, not working. It's time to step it up and fix what is really broken.
I wish you well and hope that you never have to experience the loss again. You're not alone and if you need more people (other than a professional) to talk to about it there are plenty of online community for people who have miscarried and lost a baby during pregnancy. They might offer you a great deal of emotional support through your therapy sessions and can help you to maintain a positive attitude because therapy won't be easy either.
You can get better.
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