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How Can I Cope With Being a "Black Sheep"?
I am a 22-year-old female college senior and the "black sheep" of my family. I do not believe my family has a good reason to label me the "bad" daughter when I have never done anything my 25-year-old sister (now a stay-at-home mom) has not done before me. My heart is broken over this. I try and try to do well in life, but somehow nothing I do is ever good enough. I make A's and B's in school and am more financially responsible than most people my age. I don't do drugs, and I drink but I don't get drunk. I'm tired of trying to please them when nothing I try is or will ever be good enough to do so. I don't know if I can ever let go of my bitterness toward my family for treating me this way. If it's relevant, I'm the youngest, which I think may have something to do with it. I appreciate any advice you have to offer on the subject. Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Black sheep of the family; I’m not quite sure what that expression really means. Sure we take it to mean the no good member of the family, the underachiever, the slacker, the person always getting in trouble and every other derogatory thing you can think about. But is that really what a black sheep is?
Let’s look at this for another point of view; what is a Black Sheep to a heard of sheep? In reality it is one sheep out of many that has a black coat instead of white. The non-conformist of the group, also the one who’s wool is not as valuable to the farmer. The farmer will lose money; therefore his expectations will not be met.
It may just be that your life ambitions do not meet the expectations your parents have or had for you. Example; this family owns a business which all but one of their children entered into. That child went off and became a world renowned brain surgeon and has saved countless lives. Because he failed to follow his siblings and parents into the family business his family refers to him as the black sheep of the family. This could be the problem; that their ambitions or desires for your future differ from yours.
If you don’t know what the problem is and they won’t tell you; then you need to continue with your goals. Along with that, the only thing you need to do is be a better person tomorrow than you are today. What this means is to continue you to grow as a person, continue and never stop learning. Be open to new ideas, things and places. Enjoy were life takes you and when you are ready find the right person to settle down with and start a family, which is what I think your parents want you to do now not possibly later in life which may be your plan.
Maybe I read too much into what you wrote but if I didn’t then as to the bitterness let it go, it will only hold you back. Finish college and follow you goals and dreams. One day your parents will take pride in your accomplishments. One other thing; your parents may call you the black sheep but that does not mean they do not love you, there is a difference there.
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Dear How can I Cope with Being a "Black Sheep"?, ]
First of all it is genetically impossible for you to be a black sheep since you are a human. lol
Second, Black sheep is just a label for someone who does not follow the norm. It does not mean that you have broken the law or are evil.
Is that such a bad thing? Do you want to be like everyone else?
Embrace your uniqueness as gift of this life, and shoot for the stars.
I am curious why you mentioned your education in this question though. Is it more relevant that your order of birth?
No matter what you are labeled, or called by anyone, remember this; YOU are in charge of your life, not anyone else. Do not live it according to what others want for you. So go be a Black Sheep, but be a happy, free, Black Sheep.
The path to true freedom starts here!!
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I am here if ever need me. Good Luck!
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i am also the youngest of the family & is also pressured to be the "angel" of the family.. & the one who WAAYY different than everybody in my family...
but i believe that family is family.
love it or hate they have to put up with you & if they dont accept you for who you are, then thats their opinions.
opinions dont rule over blood.
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