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is he gay or can i trust him>?
i caught my bf looking at gay porn ads on craigslist. he says hes not gay and that it was just jack off material. he used to live in la and visit me in sb. one of the ads that he put up was on my way from la to sb looking for a pit stop. he said that it steamed from a tramatic childhood incident that trigered him to look at gay porn. i told him that if was looking at gay porn it would be one thing but a seperate email account and looking on craigslist ads for gay adds to meet up is another. he said he never did and he is socially akward enough that i do sorta believe him and he's never done anything like this before. idk what to do. i want to get over it but i feel like i cant trust him now. i told him even if it was with a girl it still would bother me. idk waht to do :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
trust your BF unless he gives you a serious reason not to. Don't hold this aginest him Guys are always curious. If you talked to him about it trust his word and just go on with what you used to do. If you see him looking again confront him but don't start acussing.Ask him if he wants to talk about the tramatic event in his childhood. let him no that you will still be there for him. and if you still don't feel he is being completely honest maybe it's time to break it off. :)
hope that helps <3
~cupcakequeen~
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I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he wasn't just looking at gay porn. He was looking at ads to meet up with guys for hook ups. That's a bad sign. I'm sure he was completely embarrassed when you found. There's no way he would tell you that he's been doing it for a while, which I suspect he has been. This isn't a one time thing. It doesn't mean he's an awful guy or treats you badly. It could mean that he's confused and he's in a relationship with you because it makes him feel "normal", but the idea that he has possibly hooked up with guys... that's creepy and dangerous. If you're having sex with him stop until you can really get to the bottom of this. This doesn't look good though. I think you need to talk to him about what he is really going through. He IS having sex with men. You need to be sure you are protected and you need to find a way to get him to be totally honest with you. Yes it will hurt and he will feel horrible, but its better to be honest about who you are than hurt the ones you care about.
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He hasn't been completely honest with you yet.
If he can't be honest with you, you should probably dump him.
There are plenty of places online to go to jack off to images of guys or girls. Craigslist is a site for communicating with others - buying, selling or meeting up - even if he had no intention on buying or selling or meeting up you deserve a much better, more thorough explanation of why he choose that particular behaviour and site.
You are right to think that looking at porn is one thing - trolling an anonymous meet up site is another. I would also be uncomfortable with my partner using that site because it makes me think they are after anonymous sex, which is risky to both their health and mine.
Talk this out with him, very calmly, but very firmly. It's understandable that he would be embarrassed and very sensitive to judgement, but it's very important for you to let him know exactly what the problem is, and that masturbation is one thing, but meet up sites are another.
He doesn't have to be gay to like gay porn, so leave that concern alone. However, do explain to him very firmly the real problem here: He was using a meet up site, with an account, and that implies he was thinking about very dangerous behaviour, for both him and you.
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