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dont know what to do.
okay im only 16 and by boyfriends 19. i dont know what to do because my mom says that im not allowed to date him because she said so, but i really like him and my mother just wont see my side. so what should i say so shell let me show her that i really like him and should stay with him?
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Try and see this from your mother's perspective. You are her child and it is her responsibility to take care of you and protect you. She loves you and doesn't want to see you getting hurt or involved in anything bad. She's not trying to ruin your life or make you unhappy, she's trying to do the opposite.
Three years doesn't seem like a big age gap, but the difference between a 16-year-old and 19-year-old is very different to that between say, a 21-year-old and a 24-year-old. Although it isn't always the case, teenage boys are usually keen to get their girlfriends into bed. At 16, you're probably not at the legal age of consent (assuming you live in the US) but your boyfriend is. Even if you are old enough, it's unlikely your mother wants you to be sexually active. She's probably concerned that you may end up getting involved in a relationship far more serious than you can handle at your age.
However, there's a good chance that he's not like this at all and there is a genuine attraction between you based on more than sex. In this case, there may be room for compromise.
Pick a time when your mother is in a good mood and when you are getting on. Sit her down and talk to her calmly and seriously. Explain why you like this guy and ask her to explain to you what her concerns are. Ask if you could invite him to meet her. Although it may be uncomfortable at first, meeting your boyfriend might help your mother to see what he is like and judge whether or not she trusts him.
If she lays down any ground rules - such as only spending time together when she's around or a curfew - then stick to it and don't argue. Once she realises she can trust you and more importantly, him, she will most likely ease up a bit.
Whatever you do, remain calm and mature. Getting angry if she still refuses isn't going to change her mind, it will just reinforce in her mind that you aren't mature enough for a relationship. If she really, really isn't going to shift on this then it might be time to give up. Going behind her back and lying isn't a good idea as you will almost certainly get found out and lose her trust further. Sometimes our parents really do know best, even if we don't see it at the time.
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okay so the whole your mom is just trying to proctec you line is super corney but that's what i'm going to say. your mom doesn't want you to get hurt and that is why she most likly won't let you date him. thought you could show you mom that your responsible so in the future she will be more open to letting you date older guys (it is illeagle for you to date this guy) so dating him behind your moms back won't help anything.
hope that helps <3
~cupcakequeen~
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your boyfriend is too old for you at the moment. your mom is not going to like theidea then thats that. your mom could say that he raped you and he could get into trouble its a whole big deal dating someone whose older and your not 18
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Hey :)
Before I answer your questions, I think you should ask yourself why exactly is your mom against you dating this guy? Is it because he's older than you? Does he not present himself decently? Ask her why she doesn't want to see you with him. Don't whine, don't fight. Let her know you want to have a serious one on one discussion with her. Maybe she will understand. You're 16, you're still developing emotionally and mentally. Sometimes, not all the times, older guys are more experienced on how to sweet talk females, how to hide things, etc, which is why I was thinking the age might be the problem. Nevertheless, try and hear your mom out if she gives you any valid reasons as to why she doesn't want you with this guy. Whatever you do, don't sneak behind her back. It'll break her trust and she'll say that he's changing you. Plus, (from personal experiences) I've noticed my parents were usually right when it came to criticisms on any bf's I had. You have a whole life ahead of you, you can meet mr. right today or 10 years from now. Good luck! I hope everything turns out well.
Uniq
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Well... actually... YOU can't say or do anything to convince her to let you stay with him. But HE might be able to. Of course, she's your parent and she's just trying to protect you. Plus, if the guy is older then that usually means that the guy is more experienced, and he might pressure you to do things (ahem, like sex). She's just trying to prevent things from getting out of hand.
If you really want to stay with him and have your mom's approval, then he's going to have to show her that he's a really great guy, and not some jerk asshole that's trying to take advantage of you.
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Ask your mom if you can invite him over to meet her. Maybe if she sees that hes a good guy the age difference wont matter to her anymore.
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