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Should I go for it?
16/f
My bf is so asking for it,I don't know what to do...Every time we're on a date we both get turned on like crazy and it's been like this for a while.We want to have sex soon and it's gonna be my first time,but I'm a bit scared.I told him that and he said he'll be gentle and careful with me...I really love this guy but I'm quite insecure and indecisive about this.Should I have sex with him if I feel like it?I know only I can decide when's the right time for me to do it.Still there are so many dilemmas,like,what if the condom breaks? that causes insecurity...what should I do? I really want him and can't hold back anymore.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than for the boy. At 16 you are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always must have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision please review the following website.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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Ignoring the "pushing you" part from below, she's mostly right. You're not ready.
Time to start doing some research yourself. Google things like "pregnancy" and "fertility cycles" and "birth control" and read the entire first page of results for all of them.
You should be educated enough to protect yourself before you'd be anything like ready. You should know when you're fertile and why you're fertile during that period every month. You should know ten different common forms of contraception, their risks and benefits and side effects, and which ones are best used in conjunction.
And you should start looking into your first Gyno visit. Gyno visits are pretty much a requirement once you are sexually active, but if you know that you're going to want to, and possibly go through with choosing to have sex, you should go ahead and set one up early.
Through them, or if you'd prefer another method you can look up planned parenthood in your area, you should try to get on birth control. In the interim, if you DO choose to have sex you should use an internal spermicide with condoms so that if they break you've got a fallback. VCF comes pretty well recommended, it's in the condom aisle and is a good second line of defense. Google VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film)too, just to be informed.
Sex is a personal choice you're going to make someday. You're past the point where sex is some far off future concept to you that you can just put off till tomorrow. It's time to go out and learn a few things before you find yourself giving in uneducated.
Because "its only a matter of time" has now been specificed up into "it's only a matter of months, weeks, or days".
In the mean time, there are plenty of fun activities that don't risk pregnancy you're probably already engaging in. Try to stick with them for now.
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if your having soo much doubt & fear then your definatly not ready. just give it time.. & not to be rude but if your bf is pressuring you to do it, then he's not worth giving into. the right guy will understand when your ready or not.
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im 13 and think you shount cuz if you have any doubts about it then your not ready
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