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how do you know?
so i have a boyfriend. we're both 17. i can't figure out if he's using me for sex or not. he knows i'm a virgin and i didn't give up my virginity my ex who i was dating for like 14 months. we've done everything but actual intercourse. he always mentions it to me and i told him that i'm not going to do that with someone i've been dating for like amonth. he does text me everyday and sometimes he blows off his friends to hang out with me or he invites me to hang out with him and his friends. whenever we hang out we always end up doing sexual stuff like oral and stuff. i like him but i just don't know, i don't trust guys..
oh and we've only been dating like almost 2 months now.
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if you waited 14 months with your ex, but are already thinking about it with a new guy after barely 2 months, theres a red flag right there. if you're questioning it and arent sure, that is not a good sign. relationships should be built on trust, and i wouldnt have sex with someone i wasnt willing to trust my life with.
as a general rule of thumb, don't listen to what guys say ever. pay attention to what guys DO. this is a much better indicator. ditching his friends for you doesnt count, especially if hes getting action. trust your gut feeling on this. if you have doubts, there is probably a good reason.
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1 month, 2 months, even 6 months is a little to short time for me to be thinking about having sex with someone. Tell him to respect your wishes and to wait a while.
The person below me is right, You don't inch your way into sex. Sex is something that should be enjoyable and it's a big thing that two people share between one another. As once you have sex, You remember it especially with the first person. (I lost my virginity 8 years ago and I am with a new partner and I STILL remember it) Instead of remembering it as being a wham bam type of thing make it something that you will have no regrets by waiting until the time is right. If your boyfriend can't respect your wishes to wait, Then you might have just answered your own question. Wait and don't let a guy pressure you into doing it when you aren't ready.
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You already fucked up most of your ability to figure it out.
The teen mentality is a mystery to me, I didn't get it even when I was in the middle of it. How you can engage in oral most of the times you see a guy and yet keep your virginity for 14 months...
You're 17. Coming up on adulthood. It's getting to be about time to leave the "we do oral and make out and give hand jobs and dry fuck, but we don't ever have sex" bullshit in the past with your rapidly declining teenagehood.
In the adult world, sex is sex and intimacy is intimacy. You don't take your clothes off around a guy unless you're sure he's interested in more than just sex, or you both are just in it for sex. Either way, you don't inch into it with blowjobs.
You figure a guy out based on how much interest he shows you outside of sex and sexual subjects, and how willingly he respects your boundaries.
The way to tell is to cut down on the sexual activity and try to see if you have something in common or can stand each other during normal activities. Of course, when you withdraw sex, you damage the relationship. This is a fact you can't escape from.
So you can trust him and hope, and at some point have sex with him and wonder. Or you can test him a little and likely spiral what connection you do have intro the ground.
The third option is a "where do we stand" conversation, which has about a 50/50 shot of getting you the reassurance you want or igniting a breakup"
It is the most direct way to get a quick solution though, kind of a panic button of sorts.
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i think you should ask him whats the rush lets get to know eachother first
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