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don't want you here, can't leave.
alright, i could write ALOT about this, so i'm going to try my best and be brief. me and my mom have always been on and off, fighting pretty good and then other times we're totally fine and happy.
but anyways, i'm going on 19 in the next couple of months, have been in college for about half a year now, have had a steady job for two years and some friends of mine (i commute) were thinking of all getting a place together and asked me (which makes me happy cause i really only get to see them when i go to school or stay after school and don't ride the bus home so i can hang with them). well i mentioned this to my mom and she was just flat-out no about it. other situations liek this have happened - i'm going to a concert a state away and she FREAKED out when she heard cause i didn't run it by her. a friend a couple hours away wants me to come visit at their college but i'd have to take a train - "no". i want tattoos/piercings, but i can't get any unless i want kicked out of the house, but i can get them when i get my own place. well i just TRIED to and i can't! i understand where she's coming from, she's my mom and everything, but i just feel like she's not realizing i'm going on 19. my brothers a couple years older and he just randomly'll go out come home at 4am sleep all day and yeah she blows up on him but it just seems like there's that "oh well that's typical him "attitude to it and when it's something i did it's like, "how could you"? the most rebellious thing i ever did was went behind her back a couple years ago and gauged my ears and they're not even that big.
i just don't know what to do. i've tried talking to her about it and it just seems like she doesn't want to listen and "she's right". it just pisses me off cause it's like i need to abide by all HER rules in her home until i get my own place, but then i TRY to and she still says no. its just driving me crazy cause i just have no idea what to do.
i don't even know if this is something anybody can really give me advice on (my mom really doesn't like hearing anything that would put HER in the wrong; she just likes her side of the story), this may have been just more of a rant type of situation but if anyone feels like they can give any input i'd much appreciate it. i can try to explain it more if there's even more to explain, really, haha.
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Sounds like mom is scared. She might be having a hard time with letting you go, being a mom, its scary as heck. Moms want to protect their kids, even when they are 30. Fighting wont help anything, ever, but you do need to try and talk. If you want to get your own place, do it, you are an adult...But please remember that your mom has spent 19 years being there for you, and the thought of you leaving is going to be hard for her.
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If you're 19 and can help pay the bills at this apartment then just do it. Don't ask permission first. moms rules only apply so long as you're living under her roof.
Now, I don't know how you're paying for college. If mom is footing the bill she may use that to hold you there. it will be a big decision for you to make so think about it carefully.
She will be upset at first. She will get over it in time. Its not always easy seeing our children become adults. Sometimes the kid just has to get tough and make the move.
It comes down to this. you are 19 and legally an adult capable of making her own decisions. You have jobs, its not like you are taking off first and then looking for one. Keep in mind that you will have less spending money, but more freedom.
The choice is yours to make!Good luck.
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Even though your mother only likes to hear what she wants to hear you've got to speak up for yourself and make her realize that your going to be 19 your no longer a minor your legal your able to take care of yourself she maybe your mother but she can't control your life forever your in control of it to a certain extent she can but you've got to be your own person & do your own things have your own identity be independent tell her your responsible seeing as your in college and you've had a steady job for two years at some point she's got to let go of you to allow you to experience different things and everything the world has to offer if you trying to talk to her still doesn't help you could try getting
one of your family members involved maybe that will change her mind about the situation(:
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Well, :) Your 19 dear. Do what you want. Your mom may think that she has control over your life, but unless shes footing the bill for this apartment, then she does have a say.
But it seems to me like she just has issues letting go. If you want to move out go ahead, your old enough to make your own choices about stuff like this.
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