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Why am I scared having sex with my husband?
It started almost three years ago. I went to the doctors for an itchy problem that was not going away. As it turned out, I had trich. The doctor stated someone has been messing around. I asked him that my husbands ex had it in 1993, was it possible it had stayed dormant before it infected me? He didn"t answer. Then last Oct, I had a pap smear, it came normal, with the HPV virus too. I was terrified! Since vfinding this oput, I've lost interest in sex. I"m too afraid of catching anything. Since Oct, we have had sex 5 times. Am I wrong to feel this way?
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just get over it and do it
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You are going to ruin your marriage if you continue this. Denying him sex may end up making him feel worthless or that this problem cannot be resolved and that he should leave. Seriously, this is how marriages fall completely apart.
Sit down and talk to your spouse about this. He is not going to take it happily but will probably be relieved that you actually have a real reason as to why you haven't been sexually intimate with him for so long. Be smart...do not suggest that he has been unfaithful but, rather, that his former partner had been and that you are concerned for his health as well as yours (and you should be! He should be important to you!).
Then see if he will agree to a FULL STD test. Who would have thought, right?! Request, specifically, that certain things be tested for during it. Ask for a list of things they will be testing for usually and then give them a list of things you want to be added to that test. No STD test is 100% complete so you do have to do some work here. You should also have this test done at the exact same time.
[I wanted to also add that "if he loves you he will take the STD test" is no right. He may be emotionally damaged from you not talking to him about this for so long he may end up be shocked by your sudden request and say no to it at first. Keep in mind that if this man has been with you for more than 6 months and you've only had sex 5 times...and he hasn't left you for some loose woman...he sure as hell loves you. Men are sexually driven by hormones...those hormones have not gone away...we all know he's been wanting "it" and if he's remained faithful then there is a great amount of love there from him.]
If you both have something then from there you can actually be treated for it rather than running away scared. If either of you have an STD that is still running around in the body and has been for this long then, chances are, you are in pretty rough health. Do whatever needs to be done.
Calm down, relax, and get over it. If he ends up having a life-long disease then it's up to you to decide if the marriage can be saved but this behavior simply cannot go on while leading a happy life together. Talk with him! If it turns out that you simply cannot get yourself over this enough to be intimate then he needs to know so that you two can figure out what to do from there.
Go to therapy sessions together if you must after the STD testing comes back and you still cannot bring yourself to be intimate. Do whatever it takes to save your marriage. This is your life-long partner. You made vows to him that you would love and cherish him through thick and thin. This is the thinning of this marriage...start opening the lines of communication so you two won't wind up in divorce in a few months. SERIOUSLY. It's important, don't you think?
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Before you confront your husband, check out this website; [Link](Mouse over link to see full location). While it is rare to so it is possible to pick up this infection off a toilet seat, according to information from this website.
In further research I found that this infection could lay dormant in either one of you for some time before either one of you showed symptoms. The fact that you have it also means your husband needs to see his doctor and be treated or it will pass back and forth between you each time you have unprotected sex.
After reading up on this you may want to give your husband the benefit of the doubt and go back to enjoying a good sex life with him.
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oh no!i really do think you need to talk to your husband.i would also be asking questions if it was me and become alittle suspecious.
I really do think that a healthy relationship needs sex.im scared that if you dont have sex with your husband he will try find it somewhere else.dont be afraid of having sex because really theres a risk in doing anything and everything.if you dont have sex then you may loose your husband.if you do then hell be happy but you may not be.just think about what risk you want to take and who you want to please.
i think your husband should go get an STD test done before anything.if he loves you then hell be willing to do it.
i hope everything turns out for the best
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It is possible to catch anything from your partner, As there is no guarantee that sex always comes without STD.
Personally, I would talk to your husband. I don't know how the marriage is between the two of you but if something feels off in the marriage then I would start questioning him. If it were me, I'd be a little iffy about it too.
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