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alochol problem with father.
okay, so i don't know how to start this off but im 18 and a female. I'm very close with my mom and not so close with my dad. Growing up he was always like into politics, and always not home and out and about doing whatever he wants. He couldnt drink because he had diabetes and he was overweight and what not. i have an older brother and sister who are in their 30s and my dad was really close with my brother. but now that the both of them have moved out and have families hes never home to be wiht me. So as you can see like i never really have had a bond with my dad..like i dont talk to him about anything, fill him in with my life because hes never home. So recently maybe 4 months ago? he got the bipass suergy i think thats what its called to make him skinny or whatever? so since this he doesnt have diabetes anymore. the first like two months were good and for the past two months hes been drinking alllll the time. like its getting annoying because how could it not? my mom has been getting into fihgts with him and tells him that she thinks hes drinking too much but he just thinks shes wrong and says that "we don't understand him" he comes home around 3 or 4 all the time. he works, comes home at 6 eats goes out at maybe 7 and then comes home at 3 or 3. but anyway this week it just got so bad that he comes home and wakes us up during a school night and i was up till 3 ro 5 in the morning listening to him. last night sussobly he got a flat tire, and he kept calling and calling and calling the phone at 2 in the morning, like obviously we are not going to pick it up because its him probably being drunk. anyway i dont know like how anyone could help me? im too afraid to talk to my dad because weve never had a bond or anything and my mom tires sometimes but he always flips out at her. my brother needs to have like have a few drinks in him to even say anything like that to my dad and my sister just doesnt think anything of it. i dont know how to like help it because i want him to stop drinking and like be a real dad to me, i also dont want my parents to split up because my mom said to me earlier today that shes really close on saying "either you choose your family or your alochol" and she said something for him not coming back. and i dont want that. idk if anyone could help? maybe if anyone has been in this position before? or knows someone or anything. thanks sorry that this is so long too <3
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
you have to look at this way. is your mom happy. would she be happier not having to deal with that. is it possible your father is having an affar he needs counsling and your mom deserves to be happy and of course so do you. I know you are 18 so am i my parents got divorced and it was rough my dad is a bully now my mom is an acholic who is dating a guy who its on here. i finally gave up on them i hate it i think u and ur mom need out make him relize if he doesnt straighten up its over.
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Hi!
I'm sorry you're having a tough time with your family! My dad was/may be an alcoholic as well. He says he has quit, but I don't buy it... he hides it, and i find it...great right? Anyway, sorry for rambling, and your mom is right, it basically does come back to the "either you choose your family or your alcohol" part. My mom has thought about divorce about a year and a half ago. Sometimes it takes someone to lose everything to realize what is top priority, but then again sometimes the addiction is to strong for them to realize. We kept thinking it would get better...hoping gets you no where. You just have to accept that your father is an alcoholic and the best way to deal with this is to talk with someone who is going through the same thing. It also is no use arguing with an alcoholic about them being addicted to alcohol because they will not realize that they have a problem. Sometimes that means getting out of there and connecting again hopefully down the road. My mom would get a divorce, but then my brother who is only in 6th grade and most likely not have a choice in court who to stay with, would have to go back and fourth because he is so young. I MAY have a choice, but then again I'm still only 14 1/2 and refuse to leave my brother... but since you are considered an adult you have more of a choice in the legal point of view. It's honestly tough living with an alcoholic. If you can get to an Alateen meeting, I think you should. You're not alone, many people, I think the percentage was like one out of every three families have a member with alcoholism (don't quote me on that, it was something close to that). You also have to realize that your father isn't trying to be a unreliable father, he most likely doesn't know how to change. The first step to helping him is for him to want to help himself. He has to want it for himself and recognize he has a problem...that can be the hardest thing to do. Then he has to want to go get help. It is very hard on everyone else in the family, but your family has to make a choice. Sometimes it is best for a family to separate for a while... If you father does end up going though the recovery process be there to support him. I wish you the best luck!
~Sky
f/14 1/2
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i understand your problem and im feeling bad for you, th eonly thing that you can do here is talk with your dad about all of this and if he doesnt understand just try to tell your mom to cut him some space , maybe he need like lots of time to think about all this, im sure that at the end he is going to realize that what hes doing it wrong and he have an aweosome family like urs ..
i understand that you are wooried ,,you guys can get him in like rehab or something
but if you need someone to talk to , go to my columm and you will find my email adress and tell me hows you are feeling about that because i only want to help you rigth now
good luck
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