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Ex's
My boyfriend has recently started talking to an ex girlfriend of his. I could see them talking for long periods of time when they first got in touch with eachother, but she calls him all day and texts him all hours of the morning. She's even sent pictures of herself to him. When I ask him questions about her he gets mad and tells me to get out of his face. Recently he started locking his phone. He's told me they are just friends, but he's lied about a conversation they had for over 2 hours while he was golfing. I know that this girl has feelings for him, but could he be having feelings for her too. I don't know what they talk about when I'm not there. Now when she calls he doesn't answer her calls if I'm there. Should I be concerned? We've been together for 4 years.
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If I were you, I would be concerned. You aren't psycho and you aren't acting irrationally. You've been together four years- long enough to be paying phone bills together, among other things. This means you get a say. You don't get to cut him off from his former life, but you're allowed to say when something makes you uncomfortable. This makes you uncomfortable. If I were you, I'd start preparing myself for a fight. If you meant enough to him that he'd stay with you for four years, you should also mean enough to him that he takes your opinion into account and answers your calls. Tell him that you haven't been snooping but it's kind of pathetic that he can't hide his actions better than that, since you can see his activities on-line.
Have a talk with him. If he's not willing to at least let this other girl know that he's unavailable and uninterested, then you've got a problem.
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ok seriously, girl be very concerned. all the signs are there. I know how hard it is to actually face whats really going on but if he was totally committed to you then asking him to cut it off with her wouldn't be a big deal. Atleast he would understand how you feel about it and do something to prove to you he wasn't lying. Like involving you in their conversations or whatever. Now if he's locking his cell all of a sudden then there's clearly something he's hiding. If there was nothing going on he wouldn't be secretive. It took me 4 years to actually accept the fact my ex was doing me wrong. He was always sneaking around, locking his phone and when I would ask about it, try to turn things to where I would think it was my mind. Well, it took almost 5 years, one child and my best friend to see the truth. What I learned from that experience was once the trust is gone, there's really no way to get it back after a deception like that. Its better to have been 4 years than 10 years of the same situations.
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you really should be concerned in my opinon i think you should really talk about it I you guys been together for 4 yrs but this may be the enD of the line.that mabe thats not always the ase but what you said,it mabe possible but you really need to find out!
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Okay, he locks his phone so you can't see what they've texted to each other or how long they're on the phone for. Also that makes it so you can't see WHO calls WHO, he may be calling her as well and talking to her at night/in the morning too. I think this is VERY shady, and the only reason he tells you to get out of his face is because he has something to hide and can't think of a good enough lie to tell you. If she's sending pictures of herself to his phone, and he's saving them, then this girl is an issue. He may still have feelings for her, or maybe since you guys have been together so long he's lost interest and wants something exciting. [Sorry if the last part sounds harsh, that's just how guys work sometimes]. If I were you, I'd be extremely upset and demand to see the texts. If the situation were different, I'd say that you asking to see the texts is unfair and seems like you don't trust him. But this situation is different. He's hiding things from you and getting defensive, two warning signs when a guy is either cheating, or interested in someone else. I'm sorry you're going through this, I've been through something similar and it's not fun when you have to constantly question your boyfriend's loyalty.
Message me if you have any other questions or need some support <3 Good luck.
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I been through the same exact thing, recently.. well sort of.
Anyway, your are more than likely right.
But it's not what you think..it's really not like he wants to cheat on you.. but people get comfortable and "bored" .. this fling is exciting for him.. becuase he's being selfish.. and he feels he has to keep it from you.. which makes it "exciting". If he is being shady, and has never been before.. you definently are not in the wrong to investigate.. but BEWARE.. if you got that far.. you may very well find something you don't wanna see.. but then again.. it is what you need, to confirm your worries.
Don't let him think he is fooling you even for a minute.. or he'll keep pushing his luck.
4 years is a long time.. and if he is young.. then he maybe having reservations.. So talk to him. Tell him what you feel.. and lay it out.. Tell him NOT to make you, make him choose.. between you and her!
But hunny, that maybe what your going to have to do in the end.. If he's right for you.. and truly your soulmate.. he'll make the right choice.. but if he doesn't feel blessed that it has only been 4 years.
Keep ya head up boo (:
Freaking out about it, will only make you feel worse about it.. so calm down (:
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