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need to help my roommate
i'm a sophomore in college and my roomie is extremely self-conscious about herself. She had an issue in 7th grade with bullying and she hasn't been able to let it escape her. She's afraid to do anything weird in public because she cares what people think of her a ton. She always feels people are talking about her if they're whispering by her or texting. She doesn't think boys will ever like her (she says she's giving up even though boys have liked her here, and she had a boyfriend in high school for almost 2 years). Anything I or our two other friends tell her don't help. She just doesn't believe us. She always says how she needs to step outside her box and stop caring so much, but she can't. I don't know how to help her because nothing I say is helping. HELP!
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Sadly there is nothing you can't really do! No matter what you do or say she will still have the same thoughts as before...in this case she should go talk to a counselor or something at your college. By talking to someone it may help her out and help her to figure out some stratergies she can use to overcome this. I know you want to help her and you're a nice friend for wanting to but you can't. Just support her and if she needs someone to listen be there for her!
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These are deep issues your roomie can only work out for herself. Nothing you say or do is going to change those issues for her, issues that were there long before she met you. Encourage her to seek counseling or therapy. Beyond that, the best thing you can do for her is to continue to accept her as she is. You sound like a great friend. Continue to be that friend for her and keep finding ways to let her know you love her and appreciate her just the way she is. The more positivity she is surrounded by the harder it will be for her to be negative about herself. Good luck. Your roommate is lucky to have a friend like you.
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