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How to breakup with someone who loves you
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and he really, really loves me a lot. We lost our virginities together, we went to his prom last year together, and I was with him when his mom and dad divorced. I understand that he loves me a whole lot. The problem is that I don't love him and I haven't for awhile now.
I use to love him just like he loved me. As time passes I notice I don't have much feelings toward him. It's not that I wouldn't care if he died or something but I don't have any emotional pull toward him. I don't have that bond like we use to share. I don't feel butterflies when I see him or when we kiss. To be honest, I don't even want to talk to him or see him so often. I would be happy and satisfied if we only talked once every two weeks and "went out" once a month tops.
I stopped having sex with him two months ago but I didn't tell him it was because I felt guilty about doing it with him and not being in love. I told him that we really couldn't have a kid right now and I had had this realization of it. He bought it but I feel bad for lying to him about that sort of thing.
How do I break up with him? I know it's time to get it over with and tell him that we aren't meant to be together and that our relationship is not working out. He is crazy about me though. I don't want to hurt his feelings. His parents love me and I'm sure they're going to be upset about this too. How do you break-up with somebody who loves you when you clearly don't love them back?
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There really is no easy way to break someone's heart. Regardless of how you tell him, it is going to hurt. The best thing you can do is to just be truthful with him about the way you feel. You two have been through alot together and he deserves that much from you.
Don't give him reasons about not being ready for a relationship, feeling like you need time apart, etc. that people often give when they want to break ties as kindly as possible and prevent hurting the other person. Either way you are going to hurt him and to him, a guy who is still very much in love with you, it will sound like the possibility is still there when it's not.
I have been in your shoes and I can tell you that while he is going to grieve the loss of your relationship for awhile, he will move on and he will be okay. I found it best, in my experience, to break ties while he healed. Maintaining a relationship with him right after the breakup made it harder for him to understand that things really were over between us.
Don't take it personally or be surprised if he is angry about your split. He is grieving the loss of you and grief has stages of anger as well as sadness. It will take time for him to work his way through the process but trust that he will get there and he won't feel that way forever.
Good luck. Everything will be okay.
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I know exactly how you are feeling, I was with my exboyfriend for 3 years, but towards the end things just werent the same for me. I still cared about him, but wasn't really in love wtih him anymore. It took me a very long time to figure out how to tell him and to realize that I had to do what was best for me and what would make me happy.
Now it isnt going to be easy for either of you, the best thing to do is to just let him know how you are feeling. Be truthful with him, he deserves that. My ex and I didnt talk for a couple months, while we were both getting used to life apart, now we are best friends. I am married and he is doing well and dating around, he still misses me sometimes and wishes he had done some things differently. But we found what works for us, & you guys will too.
If you have any other questions or would like to speak to me more, you can email me at bacardii_caddy@yahoo.com or send me a question in my inbox.
Hang in there.
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There usually is no nice way to tell someone you want to part ways. The only thing you can do is be honest about how you feel.
People fall out of love, If you don't have the feelings for him anymore than tell him. How? well here are is a example line you could use..
1. (I wanted you to know that I care about you a lot but I wanted to express how I feel and I don't feel the way I used to anymore and I think it would be best if we went our separate ways)
Remember, If he is still attached he very well might not take this split lightly. If you feel the need too you might want to cut contact. When you do tell him make sure you are clear and he understands that you want to end the relationship. Not (Take a break, Work things out etc.)
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i def been in this type situation, sorta similar. i mean if he loves you then he needs to realize that some things has changed. tell him that your feelings are a lil different then before. i know its gonna be hard for you to tell him but you got to do what you got to do sometimes. if it was meant to be then ya would be back together, he just gonna have to deal with that fact that you dont wanna continue the relationship. its better to end it now then to keep lying bout it and hiding your feelings cus thats just gonna hurt him more in the end. he should rather see you happy then to see your suffering in the inside. just be friends with him, thats the least you can do. yall obvioulsy been through alot so i dont see why not. give each other space. i hope i helped answering the question.
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