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my boyfriend/smoking
Me and my boyfriend haven't been going out for long but I realllly like him.I don't smoke anything (no cigs,no weed,etc) and he knows that and respects it. He does smoke weed though and he asked me if it bothered me (before we started going out) and i said it didn't bother me ,because it used to not bother me.Now it seems as though he took advantage of that and smokes ALL the time,probably everyday.I don't like how he acts when he's high,he's just not the same.He acts dumb and is just not normal (obviously because thats what smoking does to you...)He used to lie to me about when he did it because it bothered me but he stopped lying about it and does it all the time.I told him he doesn't have to quit but I'd wish he would just do it less.He keeps saying he will do it less and he just doesn't.I don't wanna break up with him ,i just have talked to him several times about it but have never threatend to breakup with him over it because it's such a dumb thing,but it's gotten to be a big deal.I need help!
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Since you've talked to him about it and he hasn't tried to change, you just need to decide what you care about more. Are you willing to be with this guy, who, chances are, won't stop, or is it too much of an issue? It's not really a "dumb thing", if it bothered you, it should be important enough for him to put some effort in. If something you did bothered him, you'd try to change it, right?
You can't make him stop, but you have every right to ask him not to be high around you.
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Same exact thing happened to me. I was dating this guy for about two years, long distance. He lied to me for those two years and told me he had quit smoking weed when he hadn't. From that experience, I've learned you can't change a person and if your boyfriend is a pothead, he can try as hard as he wants but unless HE wants to stop, he won't. He won't quit just because you want him to, even if he tries. It's just too hard. He could possibly do it less, but that's on him.
My boyfriend was IN love with me, still is, still tries to get back with me, and even he couldn't just quit for me. I know how it feels to not want your boyfriend to act like somebody different, but that's who he is. You knew from the beginning he smoked weed and now it's up to you whether you want to stay with him or not. Eventually he'll realize what he's doing is dumb and pointless but whether you want to stick around and wait for that day is all on you.
Goodluck hun, mail me if you have any more questions <3
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You either accept him for who he is or move on.
Obviously he likes to smoke pot, and that's his choice to make. You said it didn't bother you before, and now that you find it bothersome, you can't just expect him to cut back or quit.
You say he used to lie to you about it, but now that he's stopped lying about it you're bothered by it? Shit, female, I'd rather NOT be lied to about anything. I don't know about you.
31/f
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Im sorry to say it hun, but him smoking is his decision.
If it bothers you so much you should break up with him because otherwise it would just be unfair of you to ask him to stop. Nobody likes ultimatums, they tend to end relationships anyways.
If he is addicted to smoking weed which it seems like he might be, then he will probably do it even if he claims to have stopped.
It seems to me like you have 2 choices, 1.) either just learn to get over it and accept him for who he is and what he does, or 2.) Break up with him and find someone more suitable to your lifestyle!
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