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worried about sister.
my younger sister is 16 years old. now, i'm not on the greatest terms with her because we have pretty much nothing in common; she follows the crowd 100%, i ahve a mind of my own.
BUT her following the crowd is getting seriously out of hand. she smokes (she even stole my ID once to buy cigarettes), drinks, does drugs (yes, i know this is pretty much typical high school behavior >_< don't lecture me ont hat part), does graffiti, constantly lies to my parents about where she's going, and is pretty much a slut. I know this may be harsh, but she hooks up with a new guy every other day, wears VERY inappropriate clothing (doing everything she can to show off her boobs / ass), etc. and she doesn't even know most of the people she hangs otu with; she meets them on myspace or something and THEN hangs out with them. and she does all of this because she thinks it's the COOOL thing to do :\
anyway, moving on. nothing my parents seem to do WORKS. she's been caught with almost everything I listed above, but nothing's changed her ways. the thing is, they'll come down on her harshly the day theyf ind out, but in two or three days, she's back to normal and they leave her alone. sometimes they actually REMEMBER she's punished, but that doesn't work, either. after the punishment's over, she reverts back to her old self. (she's been caught shoplifting once, and police involvement pretty much stopped her from stealing)
So, recently, I've been thinking of "telling on her" to the police. (Not for ALL the shit she does, maybe the least serious one) I just feel that if the cops were involved, the scare might actually make her rethink things. I feel it may be the ONLY way for her to learn her lesson.
But of course, this'd have some serious ramifications.
1) negative impact on her future (colleges / jobs dont' really want a criminal there)... but then again, the stuff she does now can definitely impact her future (STDs, addictions, etc.)
2) kill my family's reputation. we'd all be judged because she's been arrested or something. my parents would be seen as bad parents for not being able to curb her behavior themselves, for raising such a child, etc. and i'd be known as the criminal's sister.
3) etc.
anyway, i know this is a CRAZY idea. without insulting me, please, just tell me what you think of my idea or if there's ANY other possible solution out there. my sister and i aren't on good terms, btu really. her behavior has to stop.
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You need to talk to your parents about taking her to they Juvi courts for minor and talk to someone. That is what my parents did to me when I was actting up and it stopped me but trust me it surely pissed me off that they did it. but Years later I am glad they did.
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You actually have a larger problem then the three you mentioned here.
Very little of what your sister is doing are serious crimes. There is very, very little the cops can do. If she gets caught buying cigarette underage, they wont even necessarily arrest her. They will fine the person who sold them to her, take away her id and the smokes, and MAYBE, and it's a big maybe, arrest her. In the vast majority of places, buying cigarettes under age isn't a really a crime: It's selling them to underage people that is a crime. In order for you to tell on her, you would have to be able to tell them exactly where and when she buys cigarettes. They would have to catch her in the act. Same goes for graffitti. Someone would have to see her doing it, or you would have to have a really good idea where she was going to go do it, for it be a useful report.
Being a slut isn't a crime, and smoking pot can be hard to prove unless you know exactly where and when, and there is some sort of public sign of the behavior... They are not going to kick down the door of her friends house because someone's sister says they are smoking pot in there. They'll just knock on the door, and in an adult says �No Sir� or the teens can be convincing enough, there is nothing they can really do. So, unless you know they will all be smoking at 5pm in a specific parking lot, you are shit out of luck. If you know her dealers name, sure, call that in, but even still they wont send a SWAT team to their house, they will knock on the door and keep on eye on them.
Unfortunately, the police are not there to scare stupid teenage girls. They do end up doing it sometimes, but it isn't their purpose. They have priorities and policies to follow, and those priorities are bigger than her, and those policies protect people, even her, and require police officers to have more evidence than just a call.
I am sorry, I really am. I've been the big sister in a similar situation (in fact, a much more serious one in a way, that involved much harder drugs and much more violent behavior) and it's very hard to accept but it's true: There is very little you can personally do. At the moment this behavior is your parents to handle, and they aren't. Which is very sad and too bad for your family, but doesn't mean the police are capable of helping you.
Lean on your parents. Express your concerns in a straightforward way. Don't whine, but explain. �I feel like she just keeps getting away with the same things. Something has to change!� Maybe you can suggest to them they met with parenting groups who help parents work with difficult teens, or maybe a meeting with a guidance counselor at school or a principal will help them to recognize the resources they can use, and how firm they will need to be.
Your parents are the ones who must step up, it's unlikely that law wont get involved in any serious way until it's a good deal more serious, and by that time, she'll probably just laugh it off anyways.
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With your idea, i can tell you really want to stop this. But im sure theres other ways. Perhaps, you should call her out. EVERYTHING, let everything out && show ur emotions. Dont let it all be yelling and criticizing. You can do that but ALSO let her know how much she means to you and your parents. Let her know that you care. Everything she does can ruin her life..but of course words only work for quit some time. SHOW it to her. SHOW HER what it would be like if she continues what shes doing. For example...some ideas might be..making an appointment with someone who deals with teens involving with what ur sisters in. Show her how Juvi is like. If she can face ALL of that...&& not get affected....then i will be surprise. But you will have to think of a way to do that..maybe try contacting somebody. i don't know exactly who..but you can always start off with the cops haha. I know this sounds extreme but it really isn't. A lot of people use this technique, but only if NOTHING else works. She needs to know what she's doing to herself. While she's still young, it's easier to stop it. Hope you luck with this situation. Let me know how it goes :]
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