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Long but main topic: sex
Alright then... This is gonna be long but, main topic: sex. Here's whats up. When me and my girlies were like ten haha we made this dinky little pact/promise that we would wait for marriage to have sex. And since then thats what Ive always wanted. I am a pretty strict catholic so not only is that like a big rule in the church, Ive just wanted it done that way. I wanted my first time to be with that special guy that Ive waited my life for, and will spend the rest of it with him. I'm a sucker for that romantic stuff hahah. Plus to me (tooootally not passing judgement here) Ive always found it kind of trashy to have sex in highschool. Not that I look down on anyone or think any differently of those who have, thats just what Ive always thought for myself, if that makes sense. Then again, when I made that pact and when I thought those things, I didn't have a boyfriend, I had never even kissed a boy. Those same girls have been my buds since pre-k and were still tight. I know they still want to wait... There are four of us girls k? Ones had two relationships, both wierd and awkward and not very physical, and the other has had a realllllly fast moving relationship and I'm not quite sure how far they went, could be third base, I don't know. And the last has only kissed. (Were fourteen/fifteen; freshmen by the way). Well I've been dating this awesome guy for like four months (Ive been friends and known him for much much longer) and we haven't gone past second base, skimmed third... kinda... hahaha. Anyway. The thing is, I find myself wanting to have sex with him. Badly. Maybe its just lust and its all stupid and dumb but I want to. Guys have tried to have sex with me before, and I wasn't ready. And when I started dating my current boyfriend (who is sixteen; sophomore) I let him know that I am not ready for sex. And he's totally cool with that. He's amazing, hasn't pressured or pushed it AT ALL, this is all me here. But I want to do it. But I don't know... there are certain things that make me not. The fact that its going against my religion, I KNOW my friends would totally not be cool with it, and I don't know, I'd feel dirty. But I want to. I want to so much. I love him and I think I'm ready. Maybe I need a reality check. So give it to me guys. Talk me out of it. Do something cuz I don't know what to do...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
In my opinion people treat sex way to seriously, the first time most likely wont even be good, i say do what you want.. but dont plan it. if you let things take their course naturally then i think you'll feel better about it where as planning it all out,doing it, and then blaming yourself and regretting it will just make you feel worse. the next time you guys get intimate dont think about sex sex sex, just go with the flow, and if you guys havent hit third base yet then i doubt you'll have sex right away. any more questions? just ask me.
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I don't really agree with the person below me. My current boyfriend and I are each others first long-term relationship, we had sex within a few months and we're still together a year on. Sex doesn't ruin relationships, most of the time it makes you and your boyfriend closer. Although, me and my boyfriend are 16 and 17 so I do think you should wait a while until you know for sure it's what you want. Maybe talk to one of your friends about this? Try and make them understand and to be honest, they would be able to help you more than anyone on here can because they know you personally.
And by the way, to the person below me, isn't there a 50/50 chance in every single relationship that they can stay together or break up, regardless of sex? The only time a guy and a girl will break up over sex is because one of them was using the other and it really doesn't sound like her boyfriends using her so surely it would make them stronger as a couple?
If you need any more help, you can always inbox me :)
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i think you should definitely wait to have sex. you have not been with him long enough to have sex. i was off and on with my ex for 3 years, we had sex and it ruined everything. he left me and now he wont even talk to me. he promised me everything but he ended it all. sex is not worth it, it honestly ruins everything. i think you should wait a year before you have sex with your guy. i know its really hard to wait, but its really not worth it and its a 50/50 chance that your either gonna stay together or break up. and most of the time its a break up. and no one wants to be attached and get broken up with, its the worst pain in the world. dont do it, wait a loooooooong time or whenever you KNOW he's not going to leave you. because no one deserves that pain, and honestly its really not worth it.
i really hope i helped you out. :)
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You gotta remember that at this age, you are very hormonal and you're very young.
Im 17, I have a boyfriend and we havent had sex. Im still a virgin and I think that I'm waaaay too young to have sex, and if you have sex, theres always that chance that you could get pregnant. and I always think to myself, "I have my ENTIRE life ahead of me, i dont want to screw it up by one act on an impulse."
I know it seems tempting now, and you really want to do it.. but trust your instincts. just because you want to doesnt mean its right. you have to figure that out for yourself. are you going to regret it after you do it ? do you think its with the right guy ?
There are so many questions you need to ask yourself. If I were you, id make a pros and cons list. and really, I know you made a pact, but pacts can be broken, just like promises.. when you promised yourself you wouldnt have sex until marraige. im not passing judgement on anyone, or you. if you feel its right, then its right. but dont let anyone change your mind, espeially your friends. do what YOU want for YOU and no one else because youre going to be the one who lives with it for the rest of your life, not them.
Bottom line: this is your life, live it how you want. I cant tell you what to do, in the end, its your decision. but just remember, whatever you do, practice safe sex. condoms are gonna be your best friends :] hahaa, and maybe start going on birth control ? ask your mom, but if you dont want to tell her you want them because youre becoming sexually active, ask her if you can get them to regulate your period.
and by the way, you sad you THINK that you are ready.. dont do it until you KNOW you are. i know you love him :] but you cant think youre ready, you have to know.
good luck ! hope i helped, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me. xxo.
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You should always live by your values and principles.
But before you can do that, you need to know what those values and principles are.
If you truly believe that sex belongs in a marriage, then you aren't ready for sex, because you aren't married.
If you believe that you ARE ready for sex, then you need to rethink your position about pre-marital sex, and understand why you’ve changed your mind and why your values and principles have shifted.
Please don’t kid yourself here: You are probably not going to marry this boyfriend. It’s just unlikely. Very few people marry the person they date when they are 15. If you sleep with him, it’s very likely that you will sleep with other people in your life. How do you feel about that possibility? Do you think that sexual intimacy is something you only ever want to share with one person?
What else does ready mean to you? Does ‘ready’ include protection? Knowledge of risks and how you will handle those risks? In my mind, ready should definitely include a trip to the doctors, knowledge of how to properly use your chosen contraception, access to that contraception, and an idea of what to do if a risk becomes reality.
I’m all for pre-marital sex. I have no problem with it at all. Hell, I practice it. My only concern is that you do what you feel is right without any unrealistic ideas cluttering you up and accept your own changing opinions before you get in too deep. If you are comfortable with your own decision, it will matter less what other people think.
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