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Long distance relationship..help?
My Boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, and since early december he's been at his parents, so we've had even less time to talk than usual. (which isnt much)
Today is my birthday, and tomorrow is our 6 months. I told him I'd be busy today but would love to squeeze in a quick chat sometime during the day. He told me he won't be able to chat today, due to 'guy time' at the house.
So, alright. Then he tells me he can't chat tomorrow either (our 6 month). We don't celebrate every month anniversaries, but I'd like to at least talk to him on our 6th. :/ He can't talk for a little bit tmrw because it's his last day there, so he said he'll be busy packing?
I just feel like I'm the one trying to squeeze freaking 30 minutes out of him just to talk to me, and he won't even talk for that long. I feel like I'm making an effort, and he isn't. I really, have a 99.9% feeling that he doesn't even know/remember tomorrow is our anniversary. I understand he's maybe preoccupied with his parents and being there and such, but i KNOW for a fact he's on xbox at least half the day. And you're telling me you can't come talk to me for not even half an hour?
I haven't brought this up to him, because it's not a HUGE deal, and honestly we've been having more arguments since he's been gone, so I'd like to maintain the peace for now. But, he says we can talk all day monday (when hes back home), which sounds fine, but then when I really think about it..this is all whenever HE wants to chat. ugh, what about me?!
I don't know what I'm asking for, I just need some advice on how to not let this get to me. Please help.
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Im sorry to say but long distance doesnt really work out for most relationships. If he really is on his xbox most of the day it shows how much he cares to hear or to speak to you. And most guys dont care about the anniversary just if they're STILL in a relationship. If your really serious about this relationship you would sit down and have a convo. whether its on the phone or not, but make sure he gets you feelings and what should change to make those bad feelings go away.
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Hey. Alright, I used to have a long distance relationship that had some of the same quirks that yours seems to have. and in the moment, it's the most annoying thing in the world to feel like you're the only one making an effort, I know. But it seems to be a pretty common problem here. and since I know exactly where you're coming from, I'd hate hate hate to take his side. But. something this minute shouldn't be a huge deal 6 months into a relationship. I absolutely understand what you're feeling, and all i'm saying is that if you want this to work out in the long run, you're going to have to learn how to let go of the little mistakes and little things he says to make you angry. If you take a second to think about this, will this matter to you in another 6 months? Yeah, it really does blow that he can't take a few minutes of his time to talk to you on your birthday, and if he doesn't remember your anniversery, then :/ I mean, you said you guys dont' celebrate your month anniversaries, so he probably remembers your 1 year, but if you don't expect him to remember every other month, you can't really get mad at him for forgetting the 6 month, especially as busy as he sounds.
You can make a big deal out of something small, but that's just going to arouse problems. This is just a small thing tripping a bigger issue, what you need to do is get to the root of the problem and address that. You guys just need to find a way around these issues, I don't know if talking on the phone is an option for you, for me it wasn't. My ex was obsessed with the xbox, and what I did was I played with him online. you guys just need tos hare your interests and learn to forgive and forget the small things, really if you want any relationship to work. Most of the time when people argue over small things all the time, it's over something bigger. I'm pretty darn sure that if you bring this problem up to him, then work it out. and if it looks like things are going to change once he moves, then it shouldn't be a big deal. and yeah, two people talk when they BOTH have time. now, whether you have more time than he does, it might seem like he doesn't care about you, but just because he doesn't show his feelings for you the way you want him to, doesn't mean he doesn't with all he's got. Guys are insensitive and some messed up priorities.
Good luck to the both of you
<3
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I think you need to figure out how big a deal all of this is to you. If it is something that you feel is important and you are feeling that he isn't putting into the relationship what you are putting in, then I think when he calls on Monday you need to talk about it with him. If this is a big deal to you, it isn't good for you to hold it in.
On the other hand, if you feel this isn't as big a deal for you, and you can live with him calling and talking to you when HE can.....and not when YOU want. And if you can live with the Xbox stuff ....then don't tell him and just get over it.
I wish you luck with all of this.
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