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I'm pregnant.
I'm 18, and I'm pregnant. My fiance, he's happy I just told him not to long ago and he went from being a total creep to me, to being the perfect guy. Why? I don't know. He's just amazing. My Dad on the other hand..... Not so much, remember that saying your dad always told you when you were little. "I'll always have your back not matter what." Well what the heck happened to that? Me and my dad used to be really close. But now it seems that he can't stand to be around me. He keeps dropping hints that he wants me out, but for right now I don't have any where to go, or I would get out. I wish I knew what to do, I guess that is why I'm resulting to this. And not I'm not asking if I should keep my baby, I'm going to keep my baby. Deffinately. I love my child already. And so does the father of my child. My question is what the hell do I do about my dad?
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Your father is probably just scared. You are his baby and now his baby is having a baby. It's a scary thought, and I am sure it will take him a while to get used to the idea of being a grandpa.
I am sure it's not that he wants you out of the house. If he wanted you out of the house he would kick you out. You are 18 years old, and a legal adult. He is not longer legally obligated to take care of you. If he is a smart guy he understands that you will have a tough time being a parent. Maybe he thinks it would be ideal for you to get your own place? It actually is. If you stay with your dad you will be tempted to allow him to do all of the parenting. He has had all the children he wants. More than likely he doesn't want to raise anymore.
If you don't already, you should consider watching the MTV show, "Teen Moms". It's a wake up call to girls like me that being a teenage mother is not easy, and it is always best to wait. However that's not saying you won't be an amazing mom. It can be done, and you can do it. Maybe the show will give you an idea on how your life will be from now on.
Get a job if you don't already have one. If you do have a job, start a savings plan. You will also need to invest in a car as soon as possible. You won't be able to get the car of your dreams, but as long as it's reliable that's all that matters. Get to the doctor if you aren't going already. Look into some income based apartments. Some are actually quite nice and will make sure the apartment is affordable for you. Always keep your child's best interest at heart, and right now getting a stable home and income is what's best.
Talk to your father. Explain your plans to him and be sure to tell him you don't expect any help from him, though some would be greatly appreciated. He should find comfort in knowing you are prepared as you can be. Let him know you are exited. Just because this situation isn't ideal doesn't mean a baby isn't a blessing regradless of the timing. Get him exited. Ask him to come to your ultrasounds with you.
Don't just tell him. Show him you are going to be responsible through action. Start cooking the meals, start looking for a job and an apartment, and start cleaning up after yourself. After you have the baby I can almost guarentee he will be exited!
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Congrats. I am pregnant to and my family was shocked since my husband has a 6 year old and I have a 3 year old. but any ways you need to sit down with your father and explain to him that you love him and he is making you feel like crap. Tell him that it wasnt planned but you do not believe in abortion or adoption if you dont have to do it and you are wanting to keep the baby. Fathers are the hardest to talk about with this. just dont sound mean and if he gets mad and starts yelling some tell him you dont want to fight with him and when he calms down.
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Let me start off with a congrats! Being that young and pregnant is going to be a tough road though. Your father is probably worried about you and your future. A baby changes a lot of things and its even worse when you don't already have a plan. I do not have any children yet but am looking forward to the day that I do.
You need to sit down with your dad and discuss what he is feeling and what you are feeling. He is probably worried that his baby girl is growing up too fast and isn't ready for what the world has to offer. Pick a day he seems to be in a decent mood and relaxed and tell him you would like to talk to him about your situation. Let him explain what his concerns are. DO NOT ARGUE with him. That is the last thing that you want. You want to maintain a calm adult conversation so you can both get your feelings out without anger arising. He may say some stuff that you don't like but that's to expected.
If talking to him doesn't seem to work, you need to make sure you have a back-up plan as to how you are going to raise a child on your own.
As for the former creep fiance, he is going to go back to him old self eventually. He is excited about your news and wants to be there but as soon as you give him the chance he will be back to his old creep-ish self. If hes really a creep then maybe you need to reconsider the engagement. You can always have a baby and not be with a guy that is not going to treat you right.. You deserve the best for you and your baby
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First of all, if your fiance was a creep in the beginning he'll be a creep in the end. This is just temporary. You can't polish a turd.
About your dad, i think you should sit down and talk about the situation. He's probably just scared.
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Your father is probably feeling so many emotions right now,as you are. You need to have a good talk with him. Wait til he is calm and in a quiet place. You really don't want to start an argument.
Tell him you want to talk and have things to tell him, and that you also want to hear how he feels.
Explain to him your plan. If you don't have one, you need to make one. He may see you in trouble and as many other pregnant girls who aren't able to move forward in schooling/careers because of their baby. I hope you and your fiance work out a way to support your baby and move out of your fathers house. Telling him your plan will show him that you can now be responsible.
Tell him how you feel. Are you scared? Do you need his help? Be sincere.
Ask him how this makes him feel. He might feel a loss of control, since his young daughter has been spending time with male figures that aren't him.
Tell him you love him, and want to mantain a close relationship. Let him know exactly how important he is to you, and how you want him to be the grandfather of his baby.
I'm sure he loves you, and if he has supported you all your life he will warm up to this idea. It may take time. You also need to be prepared if you don't get a good reaction. All you can do is try.
Good luck,
-Abby
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