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It hurts to see him with her
First of all i would like to say thank you to all those people who told me to stick with my vow, b/c it turns out he was playing me anyway.(God my love life sucks)anyway i had this friend with benefits over the summer who helped me get over some serious greif, and we kinda became attached to each other, he's the only person who knowd my deepest secrets. And we contiuned being friends with benefits until say mid-nov. Recently i found he has a girlfriend and that kinda broke my heart...not tht im not happy for him or anything thats not the case. its just the fact that whenever we were together it was like we were going out...that and people expected me to go out with him. Now, whenever im around him i get a hollow feeling and when hes with his girlfriend(who hates me for being ex-friends with benefits)i want to burst out crying. Question: What am i supposed to do about that heavy chemistry between us?
PS we still hang out and goof off.
thxx-olie 14/f
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The best most efficient way of getting over a crush is to find someone new who you like better. Any other way might work for a little bit but that is the only surefire way to get over someone. You may think that boy was special and irreplaceable but he is not. Plus your young you have so much more time to party and have fun and chase boys. Don't limit yourself and trust me there are other people you will like in the world.
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Friends with benefits always have to be looked at as a temporary fix. Otherwise, if you or he would only have sex with each other, then you'd technically be going out...right??
So, he came to find him someone steady (gf), AND made the mistake of telling his new gf about your relationship with each other. Having a friend for the benefit of sex should be a secret thing, but I guess it's hard to hide sometimes.
Anyway!! Ok, she doesn't like you, but you guys still hang, like I guess when she is not around, so God forbid she should find out, then she might end up dumping your friend...not good, you know? It would surely disappoint him, and I know you wouldn't have meant for it to happen, but you have to kind of know your boundaries.
Almost every woman is always insecure of the EX! And it's hard to maintain a healthy friendship with your guy friend having this tension, you know? I hate to say it, but if he's choosing to be with this girl, even though she hates you, then he is doing what he wants, despite what you may be feeling.
You can tell him you're going to distance yourself a bit and see how things work out for him and his girl, and if things dont work out for them, Don't let the next girl find out about y'alls relationship! Just try to be friends and work on being "friends".
I've learned the hard way that it's a battle within yourself to separate sex and emotional feelings. It's those emotional feelings you have for him that are hindering you.
If all else fails, why don't you guys become a couple, to alleviate all this awkward tension :-D
Brush off the gf's comments. She is merely insecure, and perhaps, she is stating the truth, but so what, she's probably not worth the stress.
Take good care and good luck!
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Hey,
If he had a girlfriend, he obviously played you again.. and you don't need that kind of crap from anyone. If people expect you to go out, that does not mean you have to. You run your own life and you make your own decisions. No other opinion should ever matter, yours is the one that counts. The hollow feeling you get, is the feeling of hurt. Obviously you really like this guy and he hurt you pretty bad, and no matter what you really want to tell him how you truly feel, but you are speechless for it hurts so much. What you should do, is confront him. Get him alone with you and tell him exactly how you feel. That is the only way any of this is going to be resolved. Tell him: you are the only guy I really trusted; you know me the best, you treated me like I was the only one, and I want to know why you would hurt me. Tell him you really want to make the best of your relationship and you would like to try again (if he truly feels the same way), but only if he respects you and will be honest. Who knows if he is really wanting to date this other girl, maybe he is just using her to make you jealous.. which isn't good either. You will never know how to sort it out, unless you know how one another is feeling. Set the mood, talk it out, and he will likely show you his true self. Then you can decide if he is in it for you or not. Stay positive, confront him, and whatever happens, remember to trust what your heart tells you <3
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Stay friends. :) If it's the best that you two can be, then take advantage of that. But I'm telling you, I know he has hidden feelings for you. If you really love him, you'll let him love whom he loves. :D If he's happy where he is, then be happy that he's happy. Then he'll realize what he's been missing.
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