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she had sex..im mad dissapointed..idk wat to do..
17 F ok. steph is my cousin and we have been living together for as long as I remmeber. She recently turned 15 in september. And she's like my little sister we do everything together. Play all the time. We r basically insperable. Ok well she moved out like 1 weekago which is weird for me anyway. Well she recently confessed to me that last june she lost her virginity with this kid that she claims to "love". when she told me that i swear my heart dropped. shes like my little sister you know. we would always talk about losing out virginity when we were married. its so weird. like i just dont wanna see her hear me. and she told me not to tell my sister. whose 20 btw. i dont knnow if i should becuase if i dont tell someone and she has sex again and gets pregnant then i am gonna feel guilty becuase i didnt tell someone and we could have avoided this. i dont know im so confused and i feel like i cant have her near it just gets me so mad. she told me that she liked it but that she wouldnt do it again becuase shes afraid of getting pregnant. she was 14 when she lost it she recently turned 15 in sept. seriously i need some advice. she wants to hang out on saturday and i dont know if i can. when i see her i dont see that innocent girl now i see her with different eyes and anger for keeping this from me for so long and pretending that she was a virgin also for losing it. i really wish that she didnt tell me. i feel so dramatized. she was like my little sister, my bestfriend. now i dont know what to do or cant help but to feel this. its horrible. please give me some advice on all of this. thanks.
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I understand your concern, I really do, but there really isn't anything you can do about this. You are not your parents so you have no say over what she does. She is going to make decisions like this; it is part of growing up. She may be going at a faster speed, but she'll learn from her mistakes. You cannot tell her what to do.
There is no reason for you to be upset with her. She's growing up & you can't protect her from everything. Don't be mad at her, and don't judge her. She doesn't need that. Just let her know that if she does have sex again, that she should keep using protection so that she doesn't get pregnant or any STD's. That's the best you can do. Besides, you don't have to agree with everything she does, but you should support her if you're really as close with her as you say.
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you are not god/her mother/her guardian, meanin you dont have the right to judge her OR keep her from doin somethin. i know it must have been hard for you to hear, but i think you need to worry more about yourself and not her. if anythin, make her promise you that shell use protection if she decides to have sex.
you tellin someone will not avoid or solve anythin, it will just cause more trouble for her and/or maybe cause her to lash out and have more sex.
you shouldnt be mad at her for this. its not your business, so i suggest you just forgive her and move on with your life.
x sweeethoney
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you cant stop someone from having sex.its their own personal choice.even if you tell someone its just going to cause big problems for you and her.shell never trust you with anything ever again and you dont want that.eventhough,if you tell someone shes still going to go and have sex.
what you can do is teach her about protection.tell her about pregnancy and maybe even let her know how you feel about everything.but the main thing is to explain the risks of having sex like STD's and stuff like that. dont think about it shes done it and you cant stop her.as we get older we all change,our perspectives change and what we want in life changes with it.our goals change and so do our insights on everything.you like her sister dont let her down because she choose not to go the path that you wnated her to go.shes growing up.you just have to be there for her and protect her if anything wrong does happen.
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In all reality, it's not your business to tell anyone. She's making her own decisions, and if she wants to have sex, she's going to. If she were in actual danger, like the guy was in his 20's or she was getting abused then you should say something, but if not live your own life.
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