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Hes not who i think he is, where do i go from here.
pretty sure my dad is cheating on my mom. im 18, my brother is 21 he doesnt live at home anymore. Its just me my mom and dad. I walked in on him having a video sex thing over the computer with another women and in chat rooms when i was 15. Now im wiser... ive been seeing a lot of chat sites, porn sites, and escort sites. I told my moms best friend who is a close family friend, and dropped hints to try and blow my dads spot when he wasnt home at 1am and she was at work (she works nights) anyways. i think she kind of got the hint, but idk. Im scared. my best friends dad killed himself cause of the guilt. and its wearing me down, my anxiety is high, and i try to ignore what hes doing, and i cant tell my mom.. i cant picture this life im living being changed even for the worst, and risk one of them doing something stupid. My dad is a good man to the whole public, and everyone knows and loves him. I cant take it though, what can i do? How can i stop him.. i just need help. and ya, i know i should tell my mom.. but i know what comes with that after, and i know thats two million times worse, and i have no proof of him actually going to meet another women, just high suspicion. help me :( i already check his history on his computer...
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This might be difficult, but you should start with your Dad on this one. You need to tell him what you saw, and what it made you think of him. Don't confront him in an angry way, but in a time of peace, calmly explaining what carrying this around has done to you, how its changed your view of him and how it has hurt you so much. Dynamics between a married couple are often more complicated than people on the outside know (even the kids). She may already know, but even if she does, you still need to have your feelings about the whole issue addressed. Your Dad needs to know that his actions have affected you. He probably thinks what he's doing doesn't hurt anyone else, but he would know that was wrong if you told him about your feelings. This is not fair to you. You need some answers, and I think your Dad is the place to start. See what he says, how he reacts, and then make a decision as to tell your mother or not. Who knows, he may actually say something that will help you feel better about it all. And don't forget that no matter what his "public reputation" may be, your Dad is still human, and does bad things once in a while, just like the rest of us. If he is willing to hear you out and work with you on this, maybe you just might find you are willing to forgive. Good luck. Be brave. It will all work out.
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My guess is that she is fully aware of what's going on and is just trying to "save face". If he is a respected man in the community and a good father to you, then she probably doesn't want to tarnish his reputation or disappoint you. Try talking to her best friend again and seeing if she thinks your mom already knows. If so, let her know that you know too and that you're concerned. If not, then maybe she (your mom's best friend) would be willing to talk to her.
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