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Shy friend?
17/f I'm a junior in high school and the school has a little over 4000 kids. I have many friends and they are all in different groups. The amount of close personal good friends I've made since freshman is around 30. amount best friend has made 0. She gets jealous easy and doesn't get along with my friends (almost cost me one of my best friends) so I've tried to get her friends with some of my friends. She always had complaints, they partied too much, too stuck up, too punkish, too hippie, etc. But I have a few friends who were just average and nice. She hardly talked! It's really irritating and she is my bestest friend when were alone but with others? Is no fun at all.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Unfortunately, everyone is different. It's awesome that you tried getting her out their, to meet new people. Maybe plan a movie night with you and two friends including your best friend. Sometimes smaller groups go along better than big groups. If that doesn't work, you'll most likely just have to schedule time to hang out with her, and to hang out with your other friends. But, remember, never let her effect the friendships you have with your other friends. Also remember, 1 best friend is better than 100 friends (as my mother told me growing up).
-Ms.B
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Hey there,
Your best friend sounds like a great girl. Maybe you have more friends because you are more outgoing, open to everyone, and are an overall fun girl to be with. I'm not saying your bestie is not like this, but maybe she has more expectations on what she wants in a friend and only wants a few best friends. What I mean is that maybe she is looking for another person that is like you: who understands her like you do and who she knows will always be there.
She could be content with just having you as her best friend and having you around. Friends are always going to get jealous at some time in life, but its not your fault. You should try talking to her and tell her that no matter what, she will be your best friend and that if she wants to go with you to a movie (or do something else) with your other friends, she is always welcome too. And make sure she is welcome, such as telling your group of friends she will be coming and to try to help her feel welcome in the group. You cannot force her to do anything, but just by offering your best friend to come along or making special time to spend with her alone will make her feel less jealous and know you aren't 'dumping' her for someone else.
Be firm with her, keep inviting her to your get-togethers and she will eventually sneak her way into your 'click'. If she is shy, she will learn to open up to others once you show her how nice the other friends are. Of course she will not just jump onto your buddy train, but in time she will see that there are more people out there than just you and will be able to greet others herself.
Some people are content with being best friends with only one person. Your friend is probably happy just hanging out with you, not having to worry about other people, sharing secrets, watching movies, and painting toenails with you, etc. Doing one on one girl things, you know? You should try and spend at least a few days a week doing one on one things together so she does not feel neglected and knows you still like hanging with her. She may feel as if she is losing you to other people and doesn't know how to tell you.
But all in all, just try try try to include her in any activity you do with your other friends. Even if its a simple 'hey im going to do ____ at ____'s place and I was wondering if you would like to come' or including her in a conversation by saying 'do you like this _____?' taking her opinion. That way she always knows you offered and were thinking of her. Eventually she will give in,open up and accept the invitation.
It is the caring friendship that makes her love being your best friend. And with a little boost, you can help her to finding another great friend like you <3
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