about

You can call me B. I'm 18 years old and am a freshman studying music. I've been around for a while, been through a lot, and have seen everything my eyes are capable of seeing. Please feel free to drop a question in my inbox. I love helping people to the best of my capability.
-Ms. B

advice

I am 16 years old & from Florida.
& so is the guy in my story.

here's the story...

Last October(2008)I met my stepbrother.
when i laid my eyes on him, I was immediately attracted. He was taller than me, finally! someone taller.. he had long hair and was/is skaterish looking. When we met he was formally dressed. He was on his way to church. Which is one of the things I love about him. He's christian and saving himself for marriage like me. Its so hard to find somebody like that these days.. He also plays guitar,sings a little, and is learning piano. Great, a musician. could he make it any harder me?! Anyways, his mother and I are the best of friends and she tells me everything about him. she and her daughter, my stepsister, even once compared us because we supposably have the same personality. which is awesome because i find myself kind of interesting. But the problem is that we are extremely shy around each other. If we have the same personality then I imagine him to be goofy and funny. But whenever we're around each other its just akward. So akward that we dont even talk. Not to each other, not to anyone. Thanksgiving the whole family was their and we were the only ones not talking at the table. Everyone was asking us if we were okay at times but I really wasnt. I'm falling in love with boy that is supposed to be like a brother figure now that my dad and his mom are married but I cant help it. I cant control my feelings, or what my heart desires. I daydream and he pops out of nowhere; I can't get him out of my head. We're related but not blood. Is that wrong? What should I do?

Its wrong, because technically your not related. If you were blood, then that would be another problem. If you think you'd like to start a relationship with him, then you need to talk to him about it. And then talk to your step mom or Dad about it. But, it is definitely not wrong to date your stepbrother. May be a bit awkward, but, not wrong.
-MsB

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so i just realized i love to read. haha. i used to hate it but i never really gave it a chance. soo does anyone know some good books? i lovee mitch albom hes probably my favorite author and i'm 17/f.

thankss (:

I love to read as well! Definately check out Sarah Dessen's books and Ellen Hopkin's books. They both have written quite a number of awesome books.
- Ms.B

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I argue with my girlfriend all the time.I try to do nice thing for her, but we always end up in a fight.I can't put up with this much linger-what can I do?

Talk to her about how your feeling about the relationship. If she continues to argue with you, suggest a break, or, to break up. You need to put yourself before anyone else, if you're unhappy with how the relationships going, then you need to end it. Good Luck!

-MsB

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16 female

Ok, I'm kind of freaking out right now! My family's computer has an anti-virus program and it does a weekly scan to find any threats. The reason I'm worried is because lately I've been kind of curious and looking at a little bit of porn. If something comes up in the scan about that, I'm really afraid of what my parents will do. I'm straight, but the porn I've been looking at is of girls just out of curiosity. Another reason is that I'm kind of self conscious of how my body has grown, so I wanted to see how other women's bodies looked.

How am I supposed to explain this to them? I don't want to get in trouble if they think it's wrong or something. Is it wrong?

It is not wrong at all to be curious of the female body. I suggest talking to your mom (or female parent) about it upfront. Just be like, "hey, in health class we've been talking a lot about the body, I've just been feeling interested about how my body is growing and changing so I checked out this site the other day." Tell her how your feeling about your self consciousness as well. She'll most certainly understand, and if not, talk to your guidance counselor. If they do get angry and they ground you, just remember, you've done nothing wrong. They say Curiosity killed the cat. But, cats have nine lives don't they? ;-)
-Ms.B

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My ten year old daughter has been having trouble in school for the last couple years. She gets so stressed out by all the work so she chooses not to it. She lies to us about having done it. Her grades are bad again and has 9 missing assignments... again. I have tried everything that I can think of. We have a professional tutor for her, along with the help that we and her teachers give her. I have had countless meetings with her teacher. She is a good kid and is never in trouble. I feel so bad for her because she is always crying and begging to change schools or be home-schooled. She says that her teacher is humiliating her about this problem in front of all the other students in class now. She has always had trouble with reading comprehension (although she reads well)... but otherwise she seems to have a good handle on most things when we work on them at home. Her tutor agrees and is suprised when she comes home with a bad grade on something that they worked on the night before (and she knew it then). I don't know what else to do. I am afraid it is only going to get worse. She is going to middle school next year. I am starting to seriously consider either switching schools or home schooling her. Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing? Has anyone been in public school and then home schooled? I need some advice!

Although the previous advicenators response to this was fantastic, along with a medical condition it could be bullying. I was picked on throughout elementary and middle school. I would come home crying, asking to change schools, etc. [luckily my parents were there for me, guidance counselors, etc.] Ask her personally why she doesn't enjoy school, and if it is bullying, immediately find out who is bothering her, talk to the teacher, etc. Yes, she might be embarrassed that her mom is having to come in and talk to the teacher about the bullying [if its the case], but in the long run it will surely be a wonderful thing. Best of Luck!
-Ms.B

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Its been 15 weeks since I came to this college, and I still don't have any real friends. Yes I talk to people every now and then but I still feel really alone. I have left my dorm room door open most of the time and not a single person has ever walked up and started talking to me. I have joined clubs but they are not really active and everyone seems to scatter when the meetings end. It's now the end of the semester but I am hoping that next semester brings a new start and I want some advice on what I can do to meet people

My best friend is in the same situation. It's terrific that you joined clubs, and leave your door open to newcomers, and the fact that your so optimistic about next semester is awesome. Definitely continue the things your doing. A few girls on my floor had a baking party [if your a guy you could invite some boys over for a football game], this will give you the opportunity to go to other peoples rooms and invite them to your room. Good Luck.
-Ms. B

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Okay, this will come out very unorganized. But to start this off, I'm fifteen and I'm a girl. I have a friend who is very sweet, funny, patient, and well just a great guy. He's been my best friend for years now and I wanted to tell him that I've had a huge crush on him since we first met. I spend a lot of my time talking to him! I'll block out the world when I'm talking to him because he actually see's me for me and not just as a pretty face. I'm not concieded or anything, I know I'm pretty and what-not, but I don't care what people think of me. My friend is a good listener and is very calm when I'm freaking out. I think he likes me too but I can't tell. He always hugs me and holds my hand even when I don't ask him to or initiate it. I do have a boyfriend but I like my friend more then him. What should I do?

You need to follow your heart. Your young, and should experience life to the fullest. Your 15, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone that makes you so happy. Just think about the future, and what would happen if you and your best friend don't end up working out. Would you continue being friends, or would he just be out of your life? But, overall, I say go for it!
-Ms.B

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17/f I'm a junior in high school and the school has a little over 4000 kids. I have many friends and they are all in different groups. The amount of close personal good friends I've made since freshman is around 30. amount best friend has made 0. She gets jealous easy and doesn't get along with my friends (almost cost me one of my best friends) so I've tried to get her friends with some of my friends. She always had complaints, they partied too much, too stuck up, too punkish, too hippie, etc. But I have a few friends who were just average and nice. She hardly talked! It's really irritating and she is my bestest friend when were alone but with others? Is no fun at all.

Unfortunately, everyone is different. It's awesome that you tried getting her out their, to meet new people. Maybe plan a movie night with you and two friends including your best friend. Sometimes smaller groups go along better than big groups. If that doesn't work, you'll most likely just have to schedule time to hang out with her, and to hang out with your other friends. But, remember, never let her effect the friendships you have with your other friends. Also remember, 1 best friend is better than 100 friends (as my mother told me growing up).
-Ms.B

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17/f I know most teen girls go through some form of eating disorder but my friend took it to extremes. She only eats once a day if that. And all it is is salads. Her hair is falling out, she is pale, and her mood seems more depressed/ lacks life. I keep telling her to stop but she won't. Her mom doesn't even seem to care she works slot and is never around.

Definitely consider talking to your guidance counselor. Even though your friend could possibly become angry with you for doing this, it will help her in the long run, and eventually she'll thank you. Or, she'll just right off the bat appreciate everything you've done. If you decide not to do that, try continuing talking to her, showing her the side-effects of eating disorders, and keep telling her she's beautiful.
-Ms.B

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i got my wisdom teeth taken out 5 days ago and i still have sevre swelling and bad pain. anyways my question is would it be really bad if i were to smoke a cigarette in this condition??

If you smoke if makes your blood thinner, which stops the clotting process. Also, the chemicals in cigarettes to the open are are wicked bad for it and can lead to infections and "tenderness." Most dentists say to wait approximately 48 hours, but, i'd give it a few days.
-Ms.B


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