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Perfect Guy
This may seem like an age old question, but how do you find your perfect guy? Of course I know that 'nobody's perfect', but there must be someone who is near perfect for everybody. Someone who loves you for who you are, treats you with respect, isn't afraid to be themselves, laughs with you, wouldn't change you, would do anything for you, holds you in their arms, and is just a good friend who makes you feel special inside. I know this sounds like a lot, but there must be a guy out there who can fit some of this and is meant to be mine.
I've never met any guy I have fallen in love with, I have never dated because all the guys I know are jerks or players, I live in a little town, and I don't know where I can go from here.
I am actually cute, but I don't seem to attract many guys. Being myself does not seem to work either.
My life is kind of hard, and you know how you can get the feeling that something is missing in your life and you need someone, some guy, to fill that hole within your heart because nothing else is working? Well, I am positive I need to find that someone. I don't know if fate will oneday come and he will be standing at my doorstep, or offering to take me out for dinner, or on my college sports team... but how .. how do you find that one guy, know that he is single, and get him to notice you? ~17f
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey if you find one...can you send him along my way?
You're right no one is perfect...there is no knight and shining armor to sweep you off your feet. There are few gentlemen in the world unfortunately and its saddens me that the guys today are all about butts and boobs and what have you. You don't need someone to be you...you need to be happy with you and then find someone. They always say you'll find someone when you least expect it. If not then go out there join clubs or groups and talk to guys make new friends...NETWORK! When you network you find that you'll meet someone who might know someone...and there could possibly be a relationship that might bloom who knows? You need to make an effort to get out there...I wish it were true that guys would come knocking at your door and tell you all things you want to hear. The world unfortunately is not like that...so get out there girl!!
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Dude, you're only 17. You have pretty much ALL the time in the world to find 'that guy'.
Someone right for you should have several qualities.
> "Being myself does not seem to work either."
That's #1 - the perfect guy for you will be someone who WILL like you for who you are; someone who you don't have to go overboard to impress / get their attention, someone you can just be yourself with and still have fun together. A lot of girls make the mistake of trying to get a guy to like them by trying to make themselves look hot, showing off their boobs, ass, whatever, but that's a huge mistake and will pretty much attract all the 'jerks and players' you know. If you start a relationship based on only superficial things like looks, it probably won't go past that. A good guy is someone who will want to have a healthy relationship with you,not one that's just about sex.
>It's kind of hard to know whether he is single or not just by LOOKING. Might be good to ask around. But single-ness doesn't mean 'dateable' - would you REALLY want to go out with a single guy whose hobby = making out with a different girl every ten minutes? I don't know what kind of person you are in terms of datng, but your boyfriend should probably be okay with commitment (most of my fellow teens don't think of relationships as anything permanent, they jsut see guys as an accessory, not as someone they MIGHT have a future with; i on the other hand actually want a good, lasting relationship and am not willng to settle for anyone just because theyre hot or they ask me out, etc. If I don't think a relationship is gonna go anywhere based on pure facts about the guy, I don't bother going out with him. If you're more like me and are seeking something more permanent, keep reading)
> Looks aren't everything.
Yes, we're ALL a little (if not very) shallow. But as I've mentioned before, looks can't be the foundation of your relationship. I'm not saying you should go out with a guy so hideous you throw up at the sight of him, but that you should be OPEN. If an average-looking guy talks to you in class, try being friendly. it MAY go somewhere.
The funny thing is, if it does, if you REALLY get to love a person, you get to love almost anything about them. A face that seemed average to you at first may look better to you if you love the person. It's actually very psychological and I won't go very indepth, but - seeing him, seeing his face, makes you happy; your brain makes the connection that his features = :)))) . thus, he appears more attractive to you.
So keep an open mind.
> finding THAT GUY.
No, he won't magically materialize on your doorstep one day. Sorry :(
You're only 17; if you live in a small town and don't like the people here it might be a good idea to consider leaving. Look for a college elsewhere; a good idea would be one in a big, diverse city - places like new york have a whole rainbow of people with remarkably unique personalities.
if leaving the city isn't an option, try getting more..out there. Join a club or get a job or SOEMTHING that puts you outside your regular circle of friends. It's always a way to meet new people. Clubs may not be the best place because they usually lead to just hook-ups and one-night thigs rather than an actual relationship..
> GETTING NOTICED.
Like I said before, if you have to take your shirt off to get his attention, he probably isn't good for you.
It depends on how you know him (getting someone's attention in, say, class is different than getting the attention of some guy you see in a store 5 feet away from you). If you see this guy very often, like in a classroom, you have much more time to get him to notice you. Though it may be hard to do when you're stuck sitting at a desk, try showing off your REAL personality somehow. If you're funny or like this food or this music or whatnot, try to work that in to yoru class participation. I'm nto saying you should talk about flying spaghetti monsters when you should be learning about derivatives, but if it answers the question, you can try relating the answer to something you like or explaining the answer by giving an example of something you've experienced. You may not get the opportunity to do this often, but whenyou do, you rack up participation points in class AND let the guy you like know more about you :)
You can also just talk to him. Just start a conversation about ANYTHING (except maybe "WILL YOU GO OUTWITH ME!?" right off the bat ;p ). Look at his body language when he talks to you - does he look away and not make eye contact? does he give you no personal space, making you feel intimidated? Does he look you in the eye or at your chest? Does he seem actually INTERESTED in what you have to say or do you get the feeling that he's just nodding sporadically and not paying attention?
you shouldn't force a guy to be interested in you; if he doesn't like you, then what's the use fighting for him? of course, some guys (girls too!) love playing hard to get or love picking on you etc. because they like you, but if he COMPLETELY avoids you and gives you NO attention, then he probably is not interested.
I hope I helped :)
Feel free to ask me more questions if i haven't been clear at all.
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I totally understand you. I myself have felt the same way many many times however the advice/opinion that i can sa to you is this
the question of how to find the perfect guy/girl is a question of questions, everyone asks but know one really knows i say this...
how to not find thr wrong guy or better yet how to avoid the wrong guy/girl
I really think avoiding the wrong person will help you find the right person.
I strongly recommend to do what i did and that was to keep a strong mental note of the thinkgs you really do not want to deal with and if its hard to keep your mental note then write it down and read it ...read it alot...so much it becomes your law. if you do not want a guy that curses write it down, dont want a player? write it down dont want a flirt? write it down down want a person who just wants to spread your legs? write it down...get the pic? what you really want to do is to train yourself. Dont want a nerd? a talkative guy? sensative? lazy? brown hair? tall? short? write and note it down and read and read read it over and over again avoid..learn to avoid the guys that you do not want in your life that you fell will not be worth it to you because you have a goal and plan. im not saying be mean and rude insult people but i am saying is to be street smart. I strongly suggest to always but limits to yourself..for example if you find a guy that you find thats interesting and cute and he wants to or asks you to do something you do not feel or want to do ...dont put limits if you dont like to go around robbing banks ...dont do it. if he likes to have one nights stands or do sexual favors and wants some in return don go for it limits yourself tell yourself and teach yourself not to go desperate and not to be hopeless, you have tons of time to accomplish things in life to set goals and reach them as you wait for your life companion be a winner a champion always remembering that life is hard but compare to what?
being yourself will never be the wrong thing...even if youre a wierd person the guy will always see you for who you are and you will be who you are not what he wants you to be. I strongly believe the right person should always bring out the best qualities in you and should teach you to be patient, calm, and make you feel relaxed and loved. till you meet him learn to be a young mature woman if you ever wanted to learn how to cook nows your time, ever wanted to learn to roller blade? nows the time ever wanted to learn how to do the dishes, laundry etc,etc do it nows the time...now dont go crazy on me and do things you know you are not suppose to do.
I hope this helps if it doesnt let me know
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