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I'm not sure what to do!
During the summer, I met this guy. And for months we have been hanging out, and our relationship is growing very strong. The problem is, I'm 14, and he's 17.. And he's leaving for university next year, so we've decided that we're not going to become boyfriend and girlfriend, just be a couple.. Well, the thing is, he wants to go all the way with me.. And I don't know if i'm ready! I'm still a virgin and I don't know how I can be sure that I trust him enough, to know he's not just using me for a piece of "skin" please help!!
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if you not ready wait as you are only 14
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You're only 14, he's going college next year, and you've got alot of questions.
There is no reason to have sex with this guy. Honestly, I'd break it off now, if its going places you aren't comfy yet and he's going to be gone soon anyway.
Sex is probably his highest priority. Sorry, but he's 17 and probably not a virgin, its not as big a deal to him as it is to you, and you've both accepted that he's leaving soon and that this won't work once he's gone.
So, if you're not together to start and maintain a serious relationship, you're together for sex. Whats more, its November. He's not leaving until the beginning or end of next summer. Thats alot of time to talk your pants off.
Bottom lining it, you like him more than he likes you. Its not a question of whether or not he's "using" you. He probably likes you, but that doesn't mean sex isn't pretty high on his priority list.
He wants a fuck buddy, and he likes you, but he doesn't plan on sticking around and neither do you. At 14, you should be dating a guy who's open ended, who's not looking for a FWB to fill time until he goes to college. Any sex you have with him is going to be casual, and you are going to get attached after it happens, which will just make all of this ten times harder on you in the long run. When he goes, you'll be trying to keep him. If you walk now, you've got years to fill with finding someone who's actually a decent match.
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It seems like you have a pretty mature relationship with him, and that you know what you're getting into, so I'm not going to lecture you or anything. If you think you might regret it at all, don't do it. If it's really what you want to do, then go for it and don't worry about it not being right. It just seems like strange because why would he want to go all the way right before he leaves? Have you made plans to be serious later when he's back from college or anything? Maybe you should talk to him a little more and find out what his intentions are.
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Well to be honest you will never know...only time and alot of patience will help you determine your next moves. I dont agree with him asking you to do something you dont feel or think or want or should do. I do beleive that if a guy really cares for you and is mature he will keep integrity and respect and honor towards you and your family ...why family well many people forget how important it is to have someone who is conscious towards the family of his love it represents just how much respect is important and how much he will see you in his future but also how he feels sees them in his future. I can tell you this ...Your are NOT ready!!! the biggest mistake for you to make is to think that he is and will be the only guy/man in your life...i can clearly remember people with more experience talk about how in the good old days girls would see their daddys as the main man in their life and how they would base their ideal future significant other on them...obviously times have changed but what will still remain is the respect you also have to give towards your dad or your mom. I also see it this other way if you have sex or do have a SEXual relationship via vaginal, oral, manual, anal relationship with this guy it will be just a random person...you wont see him again and is that really what you want? to experience a sexual relationship with a person who will not give you what you deserve???--> a dedicated, devoted, loyal, loving, respecting man?? I dont beleive he respects you if he did he would not ask you to "go all the way" and i dont see him caring about you, your feelings or your body or else he wouldnt ask you to again " go all the way" You can never trust him because hes not trusting you...say what!!!??? let me explain if he would trust you then he wouldnt put pressure on you..again let me expalin...when we love a person with an honest heart we never ask them to do anything that would effect them or ourselves, a good example is our parents when we trust them we dont mistreat them nore do we expect them to mistreat us but when you trust someone you will not do anything or ask anything that would cause a heart ache. I hope im not confusing you.. ive said this before you can always have sex tomorrow..today may ot be the right time. Sex is so much pressured these days and i think it needs to stop sex is useless if you have someone who is taking away from you that experice that you will only be able to live once and that person has no feelings for what hes about to do has no heart of the change that he will inflict on your life once you have sex and he leaves you..alone. think about what you want to do, then think again before you do it, but think about before...not after.
I hope this helps if not let me know
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I'd say that if you're having these doubts, its probably better not to. I wish i waited for a guy who really cared about me. If he's 17 and your 14 and he knows you're a virgin and he doesnt want to be your boyfriend then my guess would be that he just wants to bag a virgin. Especially if he's like pressuring you into it. I guess I have a pretty negative view because of my past experiences though so he might have totally good intentions. See what happens if you say you dont wanna have sex.
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