|
Do I ask again?
Long story short, me and this girl talked all summer, and when she moved back to school I asked her out. She basically said "no" without actually saying no. She told me later that she was having a really hard time getting over her last relationship. It got awkward for a couple weeks but soon we were back to normal and talking and hanging out on a regular basis again. Although the conversations aren't everyday anymore. I even still get signals from her that she may like me, although I totally misread her first signals, so I don't know. Anyway, I feel like I made a lot of mistakes in the situation, but I still consider her one of my better friends, and she initiates a lot of conversations. I'm just so scared that if I bring it up again that she will say no again and our friendship will start to dwindle even more. But at the same time it's killing me to just sit here and do nothing. What should I do or how could I bring this up again?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
LOL Wow... I can relate to most of these questions :-) Which isa good thing.
I had a similar situation but I was the girl, ofc. Well.... there's two possibilities.... either she knows you like her and she likes the attention she gets from you and she likes knowing she could have you or.... she does like you. They are both very probable so be careful, my friend.
They are both probable because she didn't actually say no... when a girl is certain she wouldn't date a guy she is very likely to say "no, i only see you as a friend" which translates to: you might as well be a woman, for all i care, i am not dating you but i like having you around to hang out. But she didn't say that... she gave you the old 'i just got out of a relationship' which translates to: i don't know right now but i will reconsider in the future, when i have 'healed' or when i am decide my feelings for you or when i feel like it. So.... you definitely have a chance with her.... it all depends what kind of girl she is, which is something I will leave completely to your judgement.
I said she may just like attention not necessarily because she is one of those vein girls or anything but because tyou said she got out of a relationship. And note: all girls do like attention. You don't have to be an attention whore or a girl who wears a lot of make up and dresses provocatively or talks to a lot of guys. So it's hard to say which are the ones doing certaint hings for attention. Anyways, given it has been a while since her last relationship, if she still gives you the signals, there are more chances the signals she gives you are real. Especially given you asked her out before.... if she didn't like you she could be more careful with her 'signals' (again, unless of course she just likes knowing that she can have you.... BE CAREFUL MAN! :-p)
If I were you I would definitely... talk to her. Or, as someone suggested, write to her. But not myspace or facebook!>_< That seems so whimpy when boys do that. I mean an actual letter or note :-p Tell her how you feel. If she says she does feel the same way then yes, ask ehr out :-)
Good luck!
~<~@
]
well honestly I wouldn't ask her again. In stead if I were you I would make more of a "propasition" tell her ( or write her ) that you still have strong feelings for her, and that if she ever descides to persue a relationship with you then thats cool. If not that is alright to because you don't want to loos her, even if it means just being friends.
If you do descide to do this don't get down on your knee or make a big deal about it. ALso don't wait for a reply leave her speachless. That is why i suggested a not. Maybey at the end of the school day or work or whatever slip it in her hand and tell her bye.
ALSO don't sign the card with love or anything corny, just a name would sufice.
Hope she changes her mind you sound like a nice individual
C.D.
]
ok..well..obviousely..she knows you like her. And if she likes you, she will probabaly tell you? because..she has nothing to lose...she wont worry about you saying no...because she knows that you like her.
on the other hand, she may be shy to tell you, or, she may think that you are not interested. My advice? (i was in the same situation) dont say anything that will ruin the friendship, but send out subtle signs that u still like her, i.e. flirting...mildly! hope i helped, feel free to ask any questions if u need more help :)
]
I'm going to be completely honest here, I don't think you should ask her out again.
Speaking from experience, it makes friendships REALLY awkward when a guy friend asks you out more than once after you rejected him the first time.
Maybe you can try flirting with her and seeing if she flirts back? Test it out, see how she reacts. Don't do anything huge, but maybe try and hold her hand when you're out with her somewhere and see how she reacts. If she holds your hand, there's a chance she might like you.
Try that out, and if you'd like, come back to me and I will be glad to help you further :)
-Laura (17-f)
]
More Questions: |