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How can I not be so controlling and overprotective of friends?
I don't want to see my friends get hurt at all. I tend to get a little too involved and concerned though so I end up being really controlling and overprotective. This has backfired on me because then they are afraid to tell me things they would normally share with me. I just don't want any of them to be hurt by anyone/anything, but how can I learn to be less controlling? It's frustrating because I always feel like I need to take charge and make the situation "safe" for them...even if it means controlling every tiny detail!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
My bestfriend is EXACTLY like that.
I still love her though, I know she's just trying to help, because she loves me.
I think, what you need to do is give your friends some space and try not to flip out when they tell you things. Even if you think what they are doing is totally fucking crazy...
I don't think you should stop being controlling ALL TOGETHER, I think your friends might like that you care enough to want to step in. Just... back off a little.
Good Luck.
xxx
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First off, I think you are controlling/overprotective because you are a good friend. You care about the safety and feelings of your friends...I think that is a good thing...just dont become TOO controlling that they feel you are their boss, rather than a friend.
How to control yourself:....give your friends advice and tell them the right thing to do once or twice. BUT that's enough. After you have done your part already by showing you CARE and telling them what's right and wrong...let them make the decision for themselves. They may learn from their decisions/mistakes and realize you were right with your advices. I mean, they're going to have to make decisions in their lives (in the future)...and you will not always be with them. So you have to let them make their own decisions even after giving them a piece of your mind and concern.
You may be controlling but I still think you're doing that because you are a good friend...so just don't be too controlling, but still care and give them advice but let them make their own decisions after.
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if you protect someone from everything then nothing would happen to them.
if you try to protect them from hurt they will never know love.
if you try to protect them from pain they will never know the joy of overcoming that pain
and if you try to protect them too much then it will backfire.
so just remember that protectiveness is not always good. everyone has to go out and live their life because if they're protected from everything then they will know nothing
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