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familes... and my friend.
so very recently, my mom and dad got a divorce. they had been seperated for a while, but that's not the point. see i've grown accostumed to my mom, but both my parents, are horrible. even they say it. so i basically live in silence. i go to school, i lock myself in my room hen im at home with her, and i go out with my friend. i don't have many friends, except her. well she's my only friend. but, i recently decided i wanna live with my dad. he's aay a lot, and even though he's the worst out of my parents (he told me he hated me, then didn't speak to me for a year, then moved out, then blamed me, then left me to cope with my fucking manic depressive mom, who basically needs to be looked after 24hrs a day.) i never made a big deal out of anything that goes on in my life, so now that i told her im depressed and i want to leave home, she obviously thinks im just whining. thing is, i don't like being dramtic or letting people know ho sad i am. so ho do i get her to be supportive without telling her all of this? her mom recently got her cancer back again, so i get she's annoyed by me moaning about my mom, which honestly, i haven't done AT ALL since she told me about it. but still. she get this look on her face. and i kno that look. it the one where she wants to tell me im being stupid, but she doesn't anna say it out loud. and i kno that the best advice is to talk to someone else, but im not kidding. i have no friends, except her. all i ant is her to be supportive of my moving. i mean, i know i seem happy about it all, but how does she not get that i hate my dad more than anyone in the world, and this move is way too hard to for me to do by myself, hich is what i am doing, beause my mom ain't doing anything, and my dad's just pissed that i'm 'forcing myself onto him'. it's really annoying. i mean, just because i didn't make a fuss about it, when it happened, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt now! and i didn't make a fuss, because my damned mother told me not to! im not good at confrontation, especially with my dad. i just clam up, and everyone thinks im whining over soemthing, just to get sympathy. all i want is my friend to get, that her parents wonderful family life, is not what i have. is that so hard for her to do? i just anna know if i should just stop trying with her. and bt, this question is aboutmy friend, not my family, i just wanted you to get the situation. thanx in advance.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know this is supposed to be about your friend, but honestly if your homelife was more stable you could handle everything else. Maybe the advice I give you could work on or even help your friend too. Maybe I'm too old to understand, but I hate to see any young people that are in pain. First of all I want to say how sorry I am you are having to go through this situation, especially where you are the innocent one. You sure deserve a whole lot better than you are getting.
Well, first of all, try to shake off the bad feelings because it's not you, you didn't do anything wrong. Put yourself above your situation. Honestly, just be happy where you are. I mean, just ignore them, act like they don't exist. Eat when you eat, sleep when you sleep, do your homework, do whatever it is you do everyday. I bet they will notice something is up when you act totally like you don't give a darn what they are doing and could care less. Self preservation. Write down some goals you would like to accomplish and concentrate on them. Live them...not the garbage. You will be better off just thinking of your own life. So hey, as long as there is food to eat, heck with them...live your own life so when you are out on your own someday, you will be a woman you can be proud of. Good luck sweetheart. Pray when you are falling asleep. I'll pray for you too.
Update:
It's really tough to go it alone. You know I sound like an old nag in my advice but, I am such a believer in writing letters to whoever it is you are having an issue with. It is so much better to pour your heart out and you don't have that confrontation or just a big to-do. I would write your friend a real letter, pen and paper, and tell her how much you value her and let her know how lucky you think she is. It's so nice to write like that because you can be lying on your bed or just being wherever and you can read it over and over and it will bring you some comfort.You know, I've learned over the years that what looks good from the outside may not be that good in reality. Like the saying, "you don't know people until you live with them." Maybe she has issues too and is putting on a front or being protective of her feelings. I'm a big believer of pouring your heart out, being honest and open, and even confessing. Encourage your friend to answer you back in a letter. Then when you get together maybe there will be less stress and more goodwill towards each other. I really hope you do ok. You are such a great person. I know that you are so stressed out. Close your eyes, breathe deeply. Like self-yoga. Try to push the negative feelings away. I'm going to tell you something very silly I do, but hey whatever works. When I feel something bad creeping up into my mind...I do like a little windshield wiper in front of my forehead and wipe it away. I always look forward...I refuse to look back. I will be praying for you. I'm on your side.
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Hey there! Sound like a *bleeped* up sitution your in. I completely understand, though. I was in a VERY similar sitution, too. (my parents fought for who HAD to have custody of me)
Anna, your friend, doesn't sound like a very good friend if she doesn't want you to be happy 100%. Or maybe she's right... Your dad seems very rude if he tells you he hates you.
You seem to be smart and caring, and Anna seems to be unwortly of your friendship. I sugest you do what makes you the most happy. Maybe join a club a school that interest you (i.e drama, photograghy, art, debate etc.) Or join a group of worship to make more friends.
Anna, from the sounds of it, is praying on your pain/weakness. Get a new friend(s).
Best of luck!
-emmzie
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