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sudden break up. long but im desperate!
I recently wrote on here asking for some ideas on how my boyfriend and I could celebrate our one month anniversary....
However last night things took a turn for the worst, and he broke up with me. Basically, he was really quiet all afternoon so I kept trying to get to him tell me what was wrong. "I don't know, I've just been mellow like this all day." was his answer.
A few weeks ago, he told me that he wasn't sure if the feelings he had for me were just for a friendship or relationship. He said he was starting to just see me as a friend. But the next day he said, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I changed my mind." So I just went with it, and things seemed to be fine after that. It left me very paranoid about were we stood, but everyday he seemed to prove things were fine. He often apologized again for doing that.
But yesterday I just had this gut feeling with the way he was acting. So we took a walk and I finally got out of him what he had been thinking about all day. Apparently, he was thinking about breaking up. He said that his feelings had gone away and he really liked me as only a friend now, not for a relationship. He admitted he's thought about it ever since that first time he brought it up, and that hurt me a lot because it means he was pretending everything was okay. So I said, "Do you want to break up?" And he was kind of unsure at first but then was like, "Yeah, I think we should." So we gave back each other's things and he tried to explain how he didn't want me to hate him because we always have so much fun together and laugh so he wants to stay close. I said it would be hard, but then agreed because I don't want to see him out of my life either. Plus he is my next door neighbor.
Later that night we were texting and he was still kind of apologizing and explaining it to me, so I said, "How do I know that you aren't going to change your mind tomorrow again?" And he said, "Because I'm sure of this." But then he continued to say maybe things could work out later on after we were friends for awhile. Because after we met, we both immediately had a strong connection/chemistry and started dating a week later. He said at first he was really happy about it, but then he started to feel like we went into a relationship too fast. So I said, "That means in a couple days you might miss me?" And he said, "Maybe." Ughhhh! I hate that. He said "Even I don't know what the future holds."
Do you think there is any chance things will work out again soon? We get along so well. He says that he doesn't feel "anything special" when we kissed, and he was sorry. I don't know if that is important so I just threw it out there. Also, do you know of any good break up songs I could relate to please?!?!
The worst part of all is that he told me "forever, babe" and that he wanted to have kids with me someday. I knew it was going quickly but it made me happy to hear him say those things. He said he meant them at first but then just wanted to make me happy and hesitated ending it cause he didn't want to hurt me. Now I'm hurt even more than if it had ended earlier. Please help, thank you.
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ohhh im sooo sorrry...hes sent you so much mixed signals!sounds like he,himself doesnt know what he wants.i mean on a good day if hes in a good mood he wnats you but when hes not feeling up to it hell break you:(, i dont think right now you should go back to him even if hes said that hes sure.he needs time to really think it through and time apart might make him realise that hes truly made a mmistake and needs you back.he needs to prove to you that hes not just playing around with you. i mean he talked to you about the future and stuff so obviously he really liked you and the day before he was so good with you which makes me think that (please dont get angry please) there could be another girl on the side.he could be confused and doesnt knnow who he wants. again this is only a theory but it just doesant make sense he keeps changing his mind.i think you should just play it cool dont put pressure on him and give him space to think it through so that he can truly see what he wants and not feel guilty because he doesnt want to hurt you..sorry if this was harsh i just thought i might give you all possibilities
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Its not your fault. Even though hes spinnig you around. he himself is not sure what he wants...that can be very confusing...its goint o hurt what i say but dont feel bad there is hope. He might need time alone to really find out what he wants but what you will have to do is be strong if you choose to give him space you will also have to accept that he might find someone else..so the first question i have for you is this.. do you see yourself with him for a loooong time? is he the man you feel that you can be with? in other words will it hurt you to be with him or with out? Your feelings and body are extremely important and you must always care for your self hes important but right now to me you are more. he needs to be resposible and decide if he wants to A) be alone B) be with you or C) be with someone else. He cant have two of the choices and you need to be ready to offer those choices to him. If its going to hurt you to just be friends and you know its not an option for you then let him know. See the way i see it its normal for couples to go through these things but the point in having the right mate is when he s down YOU are there to cheer him up and lift his spirit and when YOU are down its he who need to lift YOU up...get it? you are young and without a doubt beautiful and i imagine he is too but like i said right now you are the one who is sad and with questions..he really needs some couseling...sad thing is many guys dont look for help so girl its up to you to make that choice let him know that being friends is just not going to work...its sad but a ton of guys loose a great girl all of the time and realize it way too late see love waits, accepts, tolorates is patient, never rushes but love is universal in other words you deserve love too..dont you?
I hope this helps
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