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insults and comebacks
ok there are alot of jerks at my school and im not completely dry when it comes to insults but i want some good ones that will make them speechless so i can be left alone and stick up for the people getting bullied and harrassed. im ready to put a stop to it.i think some people need to be put in there place and knocked down a notch.
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Maybe give some free advice about: School?
So you wanna learn to play the dozens.
"Did your mama have any children that lived?"
More complex: Look at them as if they're something weird you found on the bottom of your shoe. When they ask what you're looking at, say, "Sorry, I was trying to imagine you with a personality."
"If ugly was bricks, you'd be a housing project."
"I bet you bite your toenails, fungus and all."
"Still dating that inflatable doll?"
"My friend was doing an impression of you. I told her to stop acting like an idiot."
There's a lot more at this link: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Be creative, and keep it short. Talk too long and you'll lose your momentum. Just be prepared for the chance that somebody could get really mad at you and arrange a beatdown.
Hope this helps.
PS: check out the original insult comic, Don Rickles, for a lot more material.
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my favorite one is "thats what your mom said last night while I was sodomizing her"
of course, it takes a degree of intelligence to use. but my other one is just as inflammatory, "I don't listen to bitches". this is especially dangerous if said to dudes, make sure they're not people who would consider kicking your ass a legitimate option.
-Gunner.
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You have to be careful in situations like these. You can have an arsenal of the best comebacks, but could also get yourself jumped or beaten up when you're caught off guard.
A better (and safer) approach might be to pause for a few seconds before responding to an insult and ask yourself, "Will this matter in a year?" The answer is, probably not. In actuality, it may not matter in a week, so pick your battles carefully.
From a logical standpoint, what do you care if someone calls you a b*%$h or a w&*$e? Even if it's true, the world will not be much affected by your sex life or your attitude. It won't stop world hunger or overthrow governments, so who cares if some girl wants to comment on it?
As for defending your friends, it's best for you to just be their friend. When a friend is being insulted, it will be a boost to their self-esteem to know they can count on YOUR friendship.
All my love,
Aunt Kerry
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