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Messy Dirty Men!!
I really need some help here I'm in over my head.
My parents have been divorced since I was twelve and I haven't heard from my mom since...so I live with just my single dad. He never even dated or anything after that so it's just him. When my parents lived together my mom did all the cleaning....mind you she didn't clean often, so I was always used to a messy house...but she DID clean....my dad never lifted a finger except when his computer desk got too cluttered (my dad's a major computer geek).
See my dad is about as clean as a stereotypical college boy.
So now when my mom left I was forced to take over the chores....
WHEN I SAY FORCED....I do not mean what most people mean...NO my dad did not give me chores, he never told me to do anything. What I mean by forced is that if I chose not to do the dishes, my entire family was eating out of plastic plates with plastic forks and plastic cups. No joke. If I chose not to take out the trash they would go for the next best thing (on the floor next to the trash can). If I chose not to vacuum give it a few days and you can't tell what color carpet we have.
I even had to do my dad's laundry for 3 years. I finally got him to do it himself because I went on "strike" and guess what he did?? He spent 3 weeks simply buying new packs of underwear because he didn't want to wash his dirty ones!! Who does that?? He only started washing it because he realized he'd be spending $20 a week on underwear for the rest of his life.
However, the strike stuff doesn't work for the rest of the house. He's perfectly content to live in the slop so long as his computer desk is clear. And what makes the problem worse is that I have a 16 year old brother (BIG red flag), and my sister spends all her time in her room to avoid the mess instead of helping clean it up..
In general my family's motto is "I didn't make the mess, why should I clean it?" which HELLO someone had to make the mess and it sure as heck wasn't me so it had to be one of you three.
So I'm sick and tired of cleaning up after them. Somehow they mess up something new every day...and the day to day stuff like trash and dishes they find a way to make it as gross as possible...these people don't rinse their dishes when they put them in the sink...they just throw them in there leftover food and all....it's sick.
I'm 19 and I should be worried about how much fun I'm going to have when I move out not what is my family going to be living in once I leave?
I need some ideas of how to get them to pitch in.
I've tried everything I can think of.
**Neon signs on the fridge, washer, tv, front door telling them to clean up their mess....somehow they have the brain power to move the sign out of their way but can't figure out how to read it.
**Simply not cleaning and seeing if they notice....they didn't.
**Moving their laundry baskets right in their closets....they still find a way to miss.
**I've even tried taping a garbage bag over the sink to try and make them make less dirty dishes....they just put the dishes on the counter next to the sink.
Please help I've been stuck in a pigsty for 7 years now I'm at my breaking point.
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Cleaning?
Good evening. A few short years ago I found myself in a similar situation. So I decided to make things a bit interesting for the household. I got a great big jar and filled it with little laminated folded pieces of paper. (much like fortune cookie fortunes) And on each slip of paper, I wrote out a different chore that should be done. Next, I found little privileges around the house to appoint as rewards. (i'm the only one in the household with a laptop and internet access, so that became one of those awards). Anyway, once someone was able to deliver 5 slips of paper to me of tasks they completed,(and that I checked for completeness) they were awarded one of these mentioned privileges. That worked for a short while until my family started picking "favorite chores" that were pretty easy and only took about five minutes to finish. At that point I was forced to drop "subtle little hints" about what needed to be done. (One day I was watching television and saw that someone had moved all the dirty dishes into the shower) Maybe one day pile your father's underwear onto his beloved computer. Just a suggestion. : ) Contact me for more ideas. lol
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Young Lady I can TOTALLY understand your story,
I have 3 sons & a husband if I don't do it it dosn't get done. yes I get the it's not my mess thing too. Oh and don't get me started on the laundry. So... what to do? do some home work and then hold a family meeting. LAY DOWN THE LAW You are not the sole responsible carer for the house work. everyone should pull there weight do their share. Your not the maid Yoyr a sister and a daughter Not the adult. Your Dad needs to have the computer taken off him his addition is starving the homelife of his engagements & obligations to parent he's not a boarder. Tell him to get off his butt & help organise the kids to do some chores too.
O.K. so It's not thier mess maybe... but they still live in this house. You might want to make up a chore chart and organise them to participate in tidying the table setting the table washing dishes take out bin should be a guys job Tell them it's not working like this You don't want to live in a sty the rewards are a cleaner happier home. Don't be scared to lay down some rules and set boundries they obviously need it from someone & Dad isn't going to do it. so shake him up too. Good luck sweetie.
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1st of all im very sorry that your mom left and you havent heard from her since. 2nd maybe that has to do with why your brother and sister arent helping maybe they are just still haveing a hard time with the fact that your mom left. Try talking to your family to come up with a "chore list" assign everyone to some of the chores it may not work but its worth a shot.
Hope that works for you.
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I'm not sure if this will help, but my sister is a slob and will do all the same things that you were talking about. In our bathroom we have a little garbage and when it got full she continued to pile her used tissues up so that it would turn into a tissue mountain. Me or my mom would be the ones ending up having to clean up her mess so my mom took out the garbage from the bathroom all together. at first she just threw the tissues on the ground but after a while she started to actually bring them to a garbage.
Another thing my mom did while she would throw the tissues on the ground was to bring them into my sisters room and put them somewhere where she would get mad about like her bed or something. I think maybe invading her personal space made her give in to being cleaner.
so basically i think you should just clean whats yours and put their mess in their personal area. in your dads case, put his stuff on his desk or in that room. I know this is kind of the immature route to getting what you want but if it works then who cares!
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Sit down with the family and have a serious talk about this.
1.) Not only is that unhealthy but it is a health hazzard.
It could be signs of depression but even if that is the case NO parent should get as bad as having to spend money every week because they are too lazy to wash their own clothes nevermind living off tupperware. I don't blame you for being fed up with it, You live there yes but it is NOT your responsibility to live like a maid of the house and do everything. Talk to your dad and let him know that this is not the way to live. I hate to say it, but from all you've written above doesn't sound like Dad is being much of a parent by taking responsibility around the house and being a good role model. If it has gotten to this point I'm going to say I think Dad might need some help..meaning a therapist or someone who can push him in the right direction. Is there any family members that could talk some sense into him? If there is I would talk to them. A messy house will only cause depression and stress on everyone also if it continues it is only a matter of time before you find some rodents in the place. Sit down and have a serious talk if it doesn't work get someone who is a family member or a close friend to talk some sense into all of them.
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