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Opinions.
i'm waiting in the dark
can't approach what seems so big
i forgot every scar
so don't ask what i just did
it's 1:32 a.m.
i'm not afraid of heights
i've got a ripped up brainstem
paralyzed in flight
please put it in the ground
it's bleeding on the floor
the skeletons prance around
like they're welcome anymore
"dear God, i can't feel a thing"
dear God, that's just not me
i'll listen to every song you sing
suonato bella, banshee
addicted to the glittery glow,
i can't tear my eyes away
maybe i should go
what did i just say?
i'm drowning in moonlight
hopeless smiles, hopeless hair
it's getting too damn bright
like all i wanted was always there
i can't remember
much of that awkward, dizzy waltz
kids carry this stuff forever
i feel like it's my fault
i can't accept the truth
i gave up on wishing away
i wasn't raised like you
but it really is okay
everything's okay
What do you get from this poem? Anything that comes to mind at all. Opinion the quality, interesting observations, what you think about the writer, etc. Anything it reminds you of or makes you think of..? Also whether you think it could be a song.
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Very interesting.
Very well-written.
Very not boring.
I commend you, this could very easily be a song I would listen to. I think the writer has most likely gone through a lot, and is maybe even still in the process of figuring out who they are.
"i'm waiting in the dark
can't approach what seems so big
i forgot every scar
so don't ask what i just did"
That's my absolute favorite part.
Keep writing, it's a great outlet.
-Jasmine
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Honestly it sounds like one of those depressing poems "goth" kids write. No offense to anyone, of course, but it just does :/ very depressing, doesn't seem to have a strong message behind it. It's just about general pain and suffering, without any description as to HOW the author suffered. That's my opinion.
15/f
Jessica
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Hey.
I see someone who was mistreated as a child. Someone who had a troubled upbringing.
And the person is talking to someone saying that they aren't the same because they weren't raised the same.
I think the quality is good because it isn't your typical sad song. It has a lot of good imagery. I think it could definitely be a song. With the right melody, it would be great.
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This is depressing, It sounds like someone who has given up on life but has a slight bit of hope that things will get better. Someone who is thinking of giving up who feels hopeless and wants to try to advoid pain but on the other hand knows they have to face the pain to overcome painful memories.
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