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Propose or Wait?
I have been dating a girl for around a year and a half now and both of us want to get married and live together. I have known her for over 5 years and we have spent just about every day, all day, together in the past two years including work the past 8 months. Throughout this time we have gotten along great and only had minor problems that we easily talked through and never fought over. We know each others life styles and how we live since we spend all our time at each others houses so I don't believe there will be any surprises after marriage. The question I have is is it a good idea to propose since we are only 19 years old? If I did we would be engaged for about a year and a half to 2 years.
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You're in love and committed, but theres no reason to have a two year engagement.
I will give you fair warning. Living together is a whole new beast. It will create problems you never expected, if you think your relationship can't throw anything you aren't ready for your way, think again.
Also, if you two haven't slept together yet sex needs to become a topic of discussion. Sex is a major compatibility area of a relationship, and you should be able to discuss fantasies, desires, drives, ideas, etc together before you pop the question.
I'm not trying to discourage you from your plan, I just want you to realize that theres no way to be prepared for every little thing, and if you two haven't had a huge fight over something yet, thats not exactly a good thing.
Everyone fights. _Everyone_. Fights are part of the process of two people who are not clones of each other adapting to those differences. If you haven't had a huge screaming fight yet, you will, be prepared for that.
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Well, you both are young. But, as you said..you both are mature for your age, and the best thing is you also know what you want later in life! Knowing what you want is the most important thing in these kind of situations. You've known eachother for 5 years, and you spend pretty much everyday with eachother. You guy's seem very happy and prepared for this.
I say go for it! I mean, you both seem ready for this kind of comittment.
By the time you get married..you'll both be around 20-21 anyway.
Good luck :)
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go for it...if you feel that it is the right time for you to propose to her, do it..Love is strong and i know that you know what love is..19 aint even that bad because im 19 and ive been with my bf for 4 years and if he propose to me now, i will defintiley say yes. Live a happy with her!
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I see nothing wrong with getting engaged young. I was 19 when my fiance proposed. However, we have had the benefit of some experiences that it sounds like you haven't. I do agree with you that marriage is forever, so we've made our decisions based on that principle.
First off, and some may disagree with me, I believe that you should have had at least one big fight before getting engaged. Why? Marriage is forever; for better or for worse, right? Well, how do you know what the worst is unless you've actually had to face it? If you haven't at any time questioned your relationship because of a big issue AND overcome that problem, then the "worse" can come up and bite you in the bum later when you are irrevocably attached.
There's a big difference between spending time at each other's houses and actually living together. Sure, you know if she's messy, and she knows that you still have your Star Wars bedsheets (just examples, obviously). Do you know how she is with money? Does she know how you are about dividing chores? It really takes some time with living together to work through the real issues. Things like dividing housework, or dealing with financial shortages, or sorting out your daily schedules.
My suggestion is to take your relationship one step further by living together before you get married. Get an apartment together. See how you handle the division of finances (a huge issue on its own), the stress of living with someone else, and the overexposure to each other. You both need to be bombarded with each others' bad habits. Chances are high that it will work out, because it looks like you have all your other ducks in a row.
Long engagements are a great idea. I've been engaged for 2 years now, and it'll be 3 by the time I'm married next August. During that time, my fiance and I have overcome huge obstacles. It gives you a chance to get in a married mindset without taking that huge leap all at once. It also gives you a little time to get older (because you do change as you get older, and you'll need to get used to each other).
So yes... propose away. It sounds like you've thought things through. I had people tell me that I was too young to be engaged. Don't ever let anyone convince you that you're not ready. Not everyone can be measured by the same standards. I've met 45 year olds who are less mature than some 17 year olds.
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Most likely people will think your too young,but love is love,i think you's are clearly in love and set out your life and you's both know exactly what you's want so go for it? if you honestly think you're ready and have everything set out and if you can support her financially then what's stopping you.
Good luck [:
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