|
Dont want my friends anymore : - (
So here's the thing. I just graduated high school.I'am only seventeen years old and I'am honestly fed up with my friends. Not to be mean,but i really have outgrown them.I just feel like I'am more mature then them and therefore I need mature friends.All of them "claim" that they are grown now because they are 18 and i just feel like thats bull.To me everybody's in a competion with one another.And I hate to say this but I feel like I dont have strong friends at all.One friend just cant let a boy she dated go.He cheated and he has TWO,yes..TWO kids.I mean,come on!! What will it take.I also have one friend who is so lazy and isnt committed to anything.They are very smart girls but for some odd reason I cant help but to think they have no back-bone.I'am a strong girl and i need strong people around me for support when i cant be.I feel like I'am forever Baby-sitting and i'am the youngest out the group.I forgot to mention that they are all bad influences.They are forever sprung off guys and that cant be good.They only bother with some dudes just to have sex with them and thats not my thing.But they never forget to make me feel like a baby because i dont have sex.My life means everything to me and i dont want to waste it being around negative people.I have hopes and dreams and very important goals and I just feel that they will slow down my purpose.Am I wrong for wanting to hang with a new crowd or Am I a sell out? Fake? Please help me in this situation Becuase I dont feel guilty but Am I being harsh? Thanks for listening,~ladypink
~
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know how you feel! I have a similar situtation only one of my friends is and guy and the other is a girl. And in my case they're both perverted, and in love with each other.
You probley feel like a third wheel part of the time. Like they think they are better then you, and treat you like crap! You want to go to college and further your self in a career! You unlike your friends arn't into the whole hoping from one guys bed to the next, right?
Well it is perfectly fine to want new friends! More mature and grown up!
If your old friends ask whats up with you and your new crowd you just tell them that you are grown up and when they descide to be to call you . But till then your going to hang out with people who are going some where with their life, and appreciate you for you who you are, and not your love life!
Stand up for yourself, everyone deserves to,
C. D
]
Two things:
One: It's perfectly fine to decide that your priorities and interests have shifted, and the people whose company you once enjoyed, you no longer like. It's actually a really, really good thing to be able to do that. It's keeps you striving forward and investing in new people.
Two: Yes. You are being harsh and a bit unkind. You'll be a happier and more successful person if you can separate the fact that you don't really like someone's company any longer from them being a terrible person.
It's not uncommon for us to exaggerate how bad or silly someone is in our minds to help justify the fact we don't want to be friends anymore, but it's not mature or polite or gracious.
It's also really, really common for us to get angry with our 'old friends' during big transitions in our life: Like when we graduate.
But these people don't need to be weak, or immature or lazy for you not to want to be their friends. I know many strong, intelligent and lovely people who I don't really want to be friends with either for some reason or another.
People don't need to be lousy for you to not want to be friends. You don't need 'good' reasons to not want to continue a friendship. You just need your own reasons. So you don't need to judge them or call them names to justify not liking them so much.
So stop ripping these people down, and calling them names in your own mind (or out-loud). Even though there is likely an element of truth to your claims about them, stop such nasty judgments. It's harsh, and unattractive behavior that will not make you happier or more likable.
I bet you find that when you stop belittling them in your own mind, and reminding yourself how beneath you they are, you might find you can still enjoy their company on some level. Since you've graduated now, you can exercise a lot more control about when, and how, and for how long you see them as individuals. Even more importantly, you'll be able to express your own view, goals and values to them, with more respect and confidence when you stop writing them off. I hate to be so frank about it, but here it is: If you feel you are being negatively influenced by these people, or belittled and made a baby by them, maybe you aren't quite as strong and confident in your dealings with them as you think you are. Maybe it's worth it to consider, rather then dumping their friendships all together, changing the way your friendships work, and standing up for yourself in very clear, but kind ways, rather then letting their opinions and values weigh you down and piss you off.
Or, you can of course, decide to cool off the friendships, but if you do choose that, do it with grace, respect and an appreciation for the good times you had together, not with harsh judgments and nasty names.
]
I think you're being very harsh.
While you have every right to be disappointed in your friend for not being over this guy, she doesn't really need you bitching at her either. Their relationship is over, and he's no good for her. BUT while that may be the case, it's unfair to be mad at her because she's taking time to get over him. That's not fair of you. It takes time to get over people you really like - especially when they do really hurtful things to you. I know it makes sense to move on and move on quick, but everyone heals at different paces and you can't rush someone when it comes to mending their heart.
As for your other friend, she probably just lacks inspiration. I'm sure she'll get motivated sooner or later. You need to remember that not everyone goes straight to college after graduating. Some people take a year off, some people take a semester off. Everyone is different and you have to accept that.
I don't think you're wrong for wanting to make new friends, but to ditch your old friends just because they have a little issues seems bitchy to me, and I'm sure if they did that to you, you'd probably really hurt. Treat others how you'd like to be treated. Not everyone can be as goal oriented or as quick to get over someone. You have to understand that.
]
I'm in the same boat. It sounds bad but I've pretty much ditched all of my high school friends minus one and my best friend who went to a different school. I'm also the youngest of my group but sometimes I just sat back and watched what they would talk about or do and be like 'wow..and you're going to college?". I went to my college orientation and lucky for me everyone in my major was pretty much like me, so I made friends easily there. I could see that some other students there were still in 'high school mode'. College is a great place to meet new friends that are more like you and more mature so don't worry about leaving them behind. You have to do whats best for you.
]
More Questions:<<< Previous Question: help
| Next Question >>>
|
|