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Random hookup one night.
So back in June, i hooked up with this boy my age that i just met that night. He goes to a different school, but we know the same people and had heard of each other before. We were all drinking at this one kid's house, and we were kinda meant to hook up cause everyone else there had someone to hook up with so it just happened. But we talked a lot and hooked up a lot and even a little more, like he gave me a hickey. And i'm PRETTY sure he asked for my number, but I don't completely remember. We were talking about hanging out and stuff, and he acted like he really liked me that night. The only issue is, he never talked to me again. It really hurt me for some reason, because I have this problem that whenever i hook up with someone I become attached to them for a little. But when I tell my friends that I'm upset he never texted me or said anything to me and we never hung out, they just say 'who cares, it's just a random hookup'. Like no one thinks its a big deal to hook up with someone and never talk to them again, but personally I hate that. It's the worst feeling ever. He sseemed like such a nice and mature guy and everyone said he was, but I just don't get what I did wrong. I was thinking into it a lot, and I was thinking maybe I gave him the wrong idea because he was trying to do more with me and i told him I didn't want too and he was like 'sorry, sorry'. and then we just went to sleep. And then i got up to go to the bathroom and instead of laying back down with him i layed on a different couch. And my one friend was saying this might have made him feel like I did'nt like him or something, but really I wasn't even thinking about it like it wasn't a big deal at all. And now to make matters worse, he is back with his ex-girlfriend. They were done for about 2 months before I hooked up with him, and the reason I knew it was okay was that my friend hooked up with him the weekend before me. I feel completely used and I just think that he is one of those boys who just wants to get some whenever he can, considering he hooked up with my friend the weekend before when they were drunk, so now i just feel like shit. And i've decided never to hook up with a random person again unless I know they will talk to me after. And he told his ex-girlfriend that he hooked up with me because she wanted to know everyone he had hooked up with since they broke up. Now i just feel like one of those girls who hook up with people's ex's as a rebound, and i NEVER wanted to be that girl. I"m the type of girl who's all about playing hard to get and not being needy to boys and being independant. I mean i don't really feel that way, but I try my hardest to act that way in front of guys. So something like this has never happened to me and idk what to do. I can't stop thinking about it even though i should of forgotten about him a WHILE ago, because he obviously never thought about me again. the thing that pisses me off SO much is that i'm the type of girl who is not easy at all, and guys know that. I've worked so hard on making that my image and living up too it, because for some reason my worst fear is being 'easy' or a 'slut'. so, i play hard to get , sometimes i even come off as a bitchy to guys, because i am so afraid of being used or getting attached. And i don't get it, it's like this guy for example, his girlfriend is SUCH whore, she is the biggest slut i've ever met literally and i'm NOT just saying that, i mean she probably has diseases. and i am not at ALL, guys know that if they want ANYTHING physically from me they have to actually like me, except this night was an exception.i KNEW it was a bad idea to let my guard down for once. but of course, all i would do is make out with him because i would never do anything more with a random guy..
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You need to be careful of the terms you are using in your questions.
In the adult world, "hooking up" with someone means having sex with them, so I almost made it all the way through your post thinking he slept with you.
As far as him not talking to you afterwards, its completely normal to go to party, make out with a guy, and him never call you after that. I asked my husband and he said that if he was from another school, or a different city, the chances are, it was a one time thing for him and he won't want to pursue it afterwards. He's in the "no strings attatched" phase.
I know it sucks. When I was 16 I went through similar situations. Just know that next time you go to a party, if you plan on making out with a random guy, don't expect anything past that night even if he does ask for your number. Chances are he won't call, but there's always a chance that he will, but don't expect anything. And don't read too much into it eaither. Its not that they may not like you, but they just wanted to have fun that night and nothing more...
Keep this info in mind next time you go to a party. You will feel better afterwards.
=] steph
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Ok... So I'm not exactly sure what you are wanting advice on. But here's what I think. I think you should laugh this off. Now before you think I'm crazy just here me out... I'm sorry to say it but it was a random hook up. This guy got with your one friend the weekend before you and then with you the next weekend. He was looking for a good time. Stop beating yourself up for this. Most people have done the random hook up thing and really it comes down to exactly that and the way to not feel used, hurt etc... Is to laugh it off. It happened. You were at a party. Drinking. Its kinda what happens.
No one is going to see you as a 'slut' or 'easy'.Most people aren't even in the position to judge.
His back with his ex. So move on from this. Don't beat yourself up for this so much. Just learn from it. Lift your head up, don't worry about being judged, laugh it off (as hard as that is), don't dwell on it anymore and go move on and have some fun with your friends and some other guys- who you may end up dating. (I'm not saying get with those other guys! :)) Its his loss. :)
Goodluck!
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First of all, you just met him. So to have feelings for him that soon really has to do with you. Maybe you need to explore why you fall for guys so quickly. Has something in your past caused you to need to be with a guy before you actually know him?
You had a great night with him but that doesn’t constitute a relationship. And he may have liked you while he was under the influence of alcohol. Maybe when he sobered up, he didn’t remember or he realized he just wasn’t interested.
You friends are telling you the truth it is just a random hook up. You really don’t know this guy, you just met him.
No, you didn’t do anything wrong. He probably still had feelings for his girlfriend. Guys will use other girls to get over their loss of a girlfriend.
Kissing and touching or whatever you all were doing, and giving him all of your time that night was intimate. He probably did want more from you. And if you’re not going to be on the page, you shouldn’t do those things. But no means no even if you do go that far.
Is he really a nice and mature guy if he hooked up with your friend while he was drunk, and then hooked up with you? He knows the two of you are friend. And why would you hookup with someone who just hooked up with your friend?
You sound like a mature young lady and just feel you’ve experience something that women experience all the time. Take time and explore yourself first. Find out what you really want, and how you want it. Find out why you fall so quickly for guys you just met.
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Hey,so here's the thing.Females should NEVER lose their selves in guys. As girls, we are weak to tall dark and handsome.lol.but on a more serious note. To answer your first question: No,you did nothing wrong.Since girls mature faster then men anyway, it only makes since that guys do little selfish things like not call or respond to calls.You are very special in your own way and one day you will meet a guy that thinks more of you then a random hookup.In the future try not to loosen up to guys that you dont know that well because you will get attached and it's very hard to break from someone that you really care about.Also,the moment that you realize that you have major feelings for this dude it would be best to tell him so he would know right off the back that you take him very seriously so he should do the same to you. Try to live your life and not get rapped up in dudes that dont act mature.And as for this ex-girlfriend,you are nobody's rebound at anytime.Know that you deserve respect at all times and that you are a great girl and that if he wants to do all that "EXTRA" stuff then he might need to find another girl.Hope i helped.If you have any more questions dont be afraid to ask.~ladypink~
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the problem is, you even said it.. the word hook up it usually always means doing stuff with no attachment and its usually only for one night,all though people can hook up all the time.. but not date, usually it means one night though. I know this isn't what you want to hear but the sad truth is he probably was using you, guys are scumbags.. and well they do this kind of thing.. you said he got back with his Ex? he probably still had feelings for her even when he did stuff with you thats probably the big reason why he didn't call you or anything after he was probably wanting to get back with his ex, and doesn't want it to look like he did anything with any other girl so his girlfriend would take him back. You said you guys were kinda "meant" to hook up since everyone who was there was doing it.. he probably felt obligated and horny at the same time.. some guys are like that, they don't care about girls feelings only there own they don't understand that this kind of thing bothers us. I would say to just forget about him, i know thats easier said then done, i to am trying to forget about someone and it is verrrrrry hard but.. he obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings witch means he isn't worth it in the long run.
i know this isn't what you probably wanted to hear, but its more than likely the truth sorry, and things WILL get better like the old saying .. 'theres plenty of fish in the sea'
good luck!
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