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Making out with just a friend?
16/f
I apologize in advance if I sound really naïve for asking this
Have any of you ever just made out with a friend but then simply continued your friendship afterwards? Can you explain to me how such a thing could happen? Like, I can kind of get how it would start if the mood and setting were right, but then what about after you were done? Wouldn't there be a sense of awkwardness between you two, or an unanswered question of a possible relationship? It just seems like it would be really awkward after that.
You see, the whole idea of just making out with a friend and then going on with the friendship completely baffles me. I've always thought that making out was something special that should only happen between people in a relationship...I mean, I understand the idea of a hookup, but isn't that usually not between people who are considerably good friends?
The reason that I ask is that there is one particular guy friend that I have in mind that I know made out with one of my friends a month or two ago and they didn't even know each other that well [not as close as me and him]. That's what kind of got me thinking. We might be hanging out soon and I don't actually like him like a crush but there's some interest and I could do with a nice snog because I kind of miss it. I just don't want it to be weird between us afterwards because he's a really fun guy and I don't want us to not be friends after it because I feel weird. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the idea of making out with him, I'm just uncomfortable with what might happen later. Any advice?
P.S. Sorry for the length
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I once made out with my best freind. and I thought that it would change everything. But instead our freindship re,ained the same it was like it never happened except for the times we would joke around about how funny it was. I guess it just all depends on your guys relationship
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Honestly? I don't know how anybody could do make out with their best friend and somebody who is JUST a friend, and go on completely normally with the friendship.
If I made out with my best friend, I imagine that EVERYTHING would be different. I think it would change our relationship completely.
Kissing is such an intimate thing to me, and I (maybe I'm just a freak here) reserve it for only people that I have completely legit and strong feelings for. I think that if I made out with my best friend (who I obviously don't have romantic feelings for) I just don't think I could go on normally with him.
My advice to you? Don't do it. I think it will just complicate your relationship unless you BOTH are COMPLETELY clear that this is just a one time, no strings attached thing. I really don't think you should do it, though. Speaking from my personal experience, once you kiss somebody, you just get 10 times more attached to that person.
-Laura (17-f)
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No.
Its a terrible idea.
Making out is going to make a guy want more in some way. If he wants to date you (entirely possible, guys make close friends with girls they want to get with all the time) then this will be leading him on.
If he doesn't want to date you, he's going to want and probably somewhat expect this opportunity to lead into sex.
If you just start making out with him without it being discussed first things are probably going to get awkward. If you walk up to a good friend and ask him "hey, I miss making out, can we just make out for a while? Keep your hands off my tits" I doubt its going to go over very well either.
Unless you a) Want to sleep with him b) want to date him, leave it alone and go without.
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It depends on a few things really
- How tight you are as friends. If you're good friends, its not likley to ruin your friendship
- How you both value "making out". If you guys are on the same page, that its just a bit of fun, then you guys are likley to be mates after. HOWEVER , example - If you made out for fun, but HE made out with you because he REALLY likes you - thats where the friendship would get rocky because it meant something different.
You just need to make sure you guys are comfortable enough with each other, to make out, laugh it off.
When it happens to me or my friends, you know, just for a bit of fun - usually dares, it's no big deal. What it means to you, should mean the same to him. But if it means something different, thats where it goes wrong.
Take the risk if your friendships strong enough.
Ps - The only way it will feel wierd, is if YOU make it wierd. Behave around eachother as you would normally, it's not difficult, right?
Sage :)
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It really depends on the individuals. Because you're clearly very conscious of your actions, it might be weird between the two of you after. I've hooked up with guy friends before that were just friends after and had it not be weird. But usually it is weird for a few days. As you said, the setting has a lot to do with it. If you're at a party or at a romantic place, it's well possible to get caught up in the moment, you know?
There's usually either an unspoken understanding or a conversation about it afterwards. Either you both know that you're just friends and that was a weird, random thing so there is no conversation necessary, or one of you will bring up what happened and you'll talk about how you feel about it/each other. Any time it's happened to me, we've just said, 'yeah, we're just friends. I don't really know what happened there.." and we just laugh it off.
It's typically not something that's planned, you know? It just happens, it's over, and it's kind of weird for a couple days or so; then it just kind of gets pushed out of sight. It's good that you know it should be between a couple, because if you just do it randomly, it's hard for it to feel different when you're actually in a relationship.
I would suggest you not do it because it seems that you know hooking up means something to you and if you do it randomly with a friend, it will most likely be really weird and awkward afterwards. You don't want to ruin your friendship, so I'd just keep it as friends if I were you.
Darby(:
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