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Am I thinking unreasonably?
I want honest answers because I don't know if I've turned into a crazy girlfriend or am I thinking right.
Over the summer me and my boyfriend have this unwritten rule that during the day he hangs out with his guy friends and then I come over around 4. Well recently he got a car and it needs work and he hasn't stopped working on it all week. Today I went shopping with the girls and he was working on cars with the guys and we agreed to meet back up at his house around 4 as usual. I get there and he wasn't there, so I hang around for an hour and there was no sign that he was coming home so his sister and I decided to go into town and shop around for an hour before all the shops close. One of the stores stayed open for us so we ended up being out for two hours. We came back and my boyfriend still wasn't home so I went to go watch tv alone in his room and after getting the third "I'll be home soon" text from my boyfriend I got bored and fell asleep. He woke me up at 8 when he came in and he had one of his friends with him which annoyed me the minute I woke up. He had the nerve to bring his friend back after hanging with the guys all day and I only had about an hour and a half before I had to go home and he knew that. So for an hour we went back and forth with the "What's wrong?" "Nothing" thing. I kept saying nothing because I was really annoyed and didn't want to start anything in front of his friend. Well he finally figured out that I was mad because A)I was only going to see him for 2 hours. B)he brought his friend with him. BUT! not long after he made that great discovery his friend called him (the one whos house he's been at all day) and he asks what time they were going out. Now this pissed me off and I'm going to sum it up for the sake of making this simple.
-boyfriend is with the guys from 10am-8pm working on cars
-has "time with me" that includes his friend
-boyfriend leaves at 9:30(his friends wont let him wait until 10 which is when I leave). and he goes to a underground street car show an hour away with the same friends he's been with all day.
-i go home and then at 1am get a text from him complaining that he barely saw me today.
Am I turning into one of those controling girlfriends or do I have a right to be annoyed?
This situation was the one that really pissed me off but I've been hearing about this car for weeks now. I'll start a conversation or talk to him about an actual problem that I have and he'll change the conversation out of the blue to talk about the car and for a while I actually showed interest.
And we haven't had a day to ourselves without one of his friends showing up in over a week.
Other info:
We're both 18. Been dating for 5 months.
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Okay, well the fact that he texted you at 1 am and said he barely saw you showed that he cared and i think he was probably trying to show you that he understood that you were upset about that and he was also upset. Your not a crazy girlfriend so dont start thinking that because the relationship will fail if thats on your mind. He is obviously very excited about the car and thats all that he can talk about for a bit but that will pass. Just let him talk and be excited because you would want him to do the same. I think its healthy that you guys can hang out with some friends and maybe just mention that you miss seeing him as often and it would mean alot if you had some more time together. Just try not to do it in a nagging way. I hope it works out :]
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You do have the right to be annoyed. That being said, as the owner of one of those gear heads, I have to tell you it will probably NOT get better soon. Mine is 51 and has mellowed somewhat, not a lot.
Lucky for me I like cars too. If you think you could get into old jeans & T shirt and are not afraid to get dirty, my suggestion is to do just that. Get involved. He'll love it.
If you don't think that would be your idea of a good time, then this relationship may not last a lot longer. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I'm really not. But if your guy is that much into cars, you will have to be part of that "fun" or you are going to be constantly disappointed.
The car WILL come first the majority of the time.
Basically, don't come between him and his car. You won't win.
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I agree with christina (below me) you have every right to feel the way you do and you are not being controlling in any form of way what he did is rude and he is the one to blame you didn't do anything . If my boyfriend did this to me I'd be upset too but I'd go with trying to seriously talk to him about it and how you both made a commitment and he refused to go on with it that day if you don't talk about it its only going to get worse and if he really likes you he'll respect your feelings and won't do it again
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I think you have the right to be annoyed.
He knew you only had so long to hang out, and he knew what time you guys were supposed to be meet up. He messed up on both ends, and then when you finally do get to hang out, his friend is present company. :( No thanks.
And then after all that, he has the nerve to text you complaining how you guys barely got to see each other.. Who's at fault here? Certainly not you.
I don't see you as controlling for being upset. You have every right to be mad over this because I'd be mad too if my boyfriend pulled this on me. I would sit him down and let him know how much this bothers you because this clearly can't happen again. He's entitled to hanging out with friends but to ditch you & then when he does see you, to bring a friend is quite rude. He's no way entitled to be complaining.
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