|
Financial Problems - Unhelpful Siblings
I just need someone else I guess to help me plan ahead on what I can do to help my family. I'll try to summarize as best as possible.
- My father lost a trial and is now serving 5 years.
- My mother has been sick since I was 9 with various things (pancreatic cancer, plus more.)
- I have five other brothers and sisters, two younger sisters still living at home and one younger brother is as well.
I came home after I heard my father was going into jail to help out, however, I wasn't given power over accounts or to pay bills or anything. My mother wanted to do it.
My father left a generous sum of money for my family to live off of, and then there was additional money in another account he wanted to roll over after his birthday so the taxes wouldn't be too heavy and use that to help support the big house my mother and my siblings are living in.
While I have been working and trying to just help clean up the house, my sisters stole my mother's debit card and has used it to buy $400 cell phones, a trip to Florida one weekend, fixing a friend's car, etc. They spent nearly $20,000 in about two months. (Again, my mother is sick and doesn't keep up with financial statements too well.)
When I found out, I and another sibling put a stop to it but all we could do is get the card canceled. (I couldn't get a hold of my mom at that second and we wanted to stop it before they spent any more.) Nothing they bought is really returnable. They broke the cell phone, and other things were from places where things it couldn't be returned, or like hotel room stays, etc.
My parents were told, but little was done. My sisters were told to get jobs and they would pay back the money, but it has been a month since then. My sisters are hanging out with friends and not working. I even offered to help them get jobs, and it's like pulling teeth.
My brother living here is working hard and paying for things with his own money to help support the house, as I am. If my father ends up staying for the full five years, I don't think even with us both working full time and the money pulled from my dad's savings that we could afford to keep the house running on our own for the next five years.
My questions are:
- What could I do to help maybe lower house payments or raise more money to help out?
- What can I do about my sisters that spent the money? My mom won't kick them out of the house or do much more than yell at them.
- How does parole work and what is the likelihood of it happening? (I live in Louisiana if that's needed.)
- My mother thinks she can get on disability, and it would help if she could, but I was wondering with so much money in her account from the stock, would the government say she has too much to take in disability?
We can't sell the house, not in the current condition and with no one buying, we'd be paying mortgage and rent if we were to move someplace smaller.
Anyone have some ideas? I really appreciate any thoughts.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
It would be helpful to know what your father went to jail for. If any of the money you are speaking of was ill gotten the State may seek restitution. In cases such as Fraud and Embezzlement it is usually a requirement of the sentence.
As to Finances in general and the mortgage specifically: Without a Power of Attorney for your parents Financial Affairs you can do nothing on your own other than research. You can petition the courts to declare your mother incompetent due to her medical problems. As to your father being in jail I doubt there is relief through the courts that can be sought, but you should check with an Attorney.
You should also have an Attorney draw up a living will and a medical power of Attorney for and from your mother to you. Make sure the living will covers your mothers’ wishes in all areas, specifically areas such as extraordinary care & resuscitation. When and if the time comes it will be easier on you and your mothers doctors if you know your mothers wishes in advance and the doctors have then in writing. This is what a living will is for. You should also have a HIPPA release form, for you, signed by your mother so her Doctors can keep you informed of her medical condition. You should also have the same documents for your father even though he is in jail.
As for your sisters and what you can do for restitution: Without power of Attorney over your parents financial affairs there is not much you personally can do. Your father, even though he is in jail may be able to initiate some action through his lawyer. This would depend on the laws in your state and your fathers’ wishes, if you where to inform him. Your sisters may think they can get away with what they have done believing your father can do nothing from jail. Here again the best person to answer this question is a lawyer. If you don’t have a lawyer and can’t afford one, check with Legal Aid.
Social Security Disability and savings have nothing to do with each other. If your mother is unable to work due to illness or injury she may be entitled to disability income and other programs. Go to the following website for information on how to file:
www.ssa.gov/dibplan/index.htm.
As to your question on Parole: My Brother-in-Law is a former Parole Officer for the State we live in. He once told me his parolees are given a list of does and don’ts along with other things that may be court ordered. They have check in dates, and random drug testing. If they live up to the requirement of their Parole at the end of the Parole time they are free to go about their business as any other citizen. Here again the laws of each state differ somewhat and you should speak to your fathers lawyer about this.
There is one other website I would like you to visit: www.caregiver.com. This site is for you and your brother. As caregivers there is help for you within your community. This is just one of several sites found on the web but is the one I recommend as I believe they are the largest and best organized.
I commend you and your brother for stepping in and helping your mother and not taking advantage of her as your other siblings have. From what you have written it may be hard on the both of you but there is help out there for you. Some of it you may have to fight for, some of it will come just for asking. I urge you to fight for what is worth fighting for and to take what is easily given. You, your mother and brother deserve whatever assistance is out there for you have done nothing wrong and find yourself in need of help to make up some shortfalls. This is what these programs are all about and people like you are who these programs are designed to help.
]
FIRST: If you did do something legal regarding your sisters taking money in the way that they did, Nothing would happen unless your mother pressed charges and sought legal action; UNLESS you are power of attorney over the money, and assets.
Second,Disability isn't income based.. it's based on your mom's ability to work or not due to medical reasons. So, she can apply for it and hire an attorney before she does apply in effort of avoiding red tape.
THIRD: I take my hat off to you and your brother for working to help your mom take care of the house. In regards to saving the house, there is nothing you can do legally on that unless your name is on the house. However, if your mom applies to disability then, her assigned caseworker can step in and help her with additional assistance available for her. Be sure she seeks legal advice and representation before applying for disability!!!
Good Luck and I am praying for you. I encourage your mom to apply for disability!!
]
Consult a lawyer about your mother's name and credit being ruined from children who stole her card. There's something that can be done. In the meantime, have them charged with theft by the police. Kick them out yourself and get a restraining or trespass order.
Have a lawyer figure out how to give you control or power of attorney over your mother's interests and control of the house. Your sister's need a hard dose of reality or they'll forever walk all over you and your mother until she's in the grave.
Convince your mother to sell the house or if you get control of it do it yourself. Use the money to pay off her $20,000 debts or if they're too high in your opinion consider getting her to file bankruptcy. She won't be able to use a credit card for seven years but she'll be free of everything they racked up.
You mentioned that the condition of the house isn't great but there must be a way to sell it in current condition. When it comes to disability checks have a doctor help there with advocating, signing off or a lawyer who can fight for it. Thats one thing she should get no problem.
Nothing good will happen until your siblings who think they can get away with anything and have a free ride are forced out. Your mother can't handle them but you can and legally too. What they did was theft and if you file a police report, charges and get an order to keep them from the house things will change fast.
It's best to ask your own father about parole and the charges he was convicted of. He will know as would his lawyer if you contacted them about that and options. It varies on the case.
]
First and foremost, I would like to take this time out to applaud you and your brother for stepping up to the plate. I agree that your mom should get on disablilty and try to go to social services and see if you can get any government support. Being that your mom is sick and you stepping up to the plate, I believe you should step up further and put your foot down with your sisters. Its obvious that they are being inconsiderate, and ignorant to whats actually going on in the house. It sounds like that they are taking advantage of whats going on and they need an authoritarian. You should be that authoritarian.
]
More Questions: |