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i dont know what to do. :(
My boyfriend and i broke up.
we broke up on sunday and it was really weird how he explained it. We broke up because his mom thought we were geting to close. He said that we could still be friends, hang out., adn go on dates. He said that we could still do everything we were doing whenever we were dating but we aren't going to be dating. He still tells me he loves me and calls me babe. BUT! he hasn't called me in 2 days nothing at all. idk what to do. he broke my heart but i still want to be his friend but not with benifits im not a slut..
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well... Friends? Relationship starts with friends and then it becomes a relationship but can't ever go back to friends, and how did i learn that?
After me and my ex-boyfriend tried to be friends for a whole year, it's horrible and you won't ever get over him.
But...
Are you sure this guy isn't lying to you? well okay maybe not lying but doesn't love you enough to stand against his mother?
Come on, i've seen worse cases and he is a man, and if he really wanted to keep this going i think he would have.
No your not a slut but eventually/accidentally you guys will make out. To you accidentally to him (if his an asshole) all planned.
Just think about it ..... would you rather stay with a guy as his friend nothing more and hurt your heart more everyday OR get over him and move on, go out there and find a boyfriend who will stand up for you against his mother no matter what?
Good Luck =]=]
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There's absolutely nothing wrong with being his friend again... but not for awhile.
I would wait AT LEAST three months to even begin getting back to normal. Both of you need time to get over one-another.
He probably hasn't called you because he doesn't know what to say.
Just wait, like I said.
--Jack
(17/m)
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no girl.your doing the right thing.i don't know how you feel but my friend is going threw the same thing but it has nothing to do with his mom.look first of that's an excuse and second he wants to date other girls and at the same time he knows that no matter what he has you there waiting for him all the time.please don't do that there are so many other guys that need your love and that they will love you the same one way you want to be loved.trust me don't just move on. take care,liss15
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i think he came up w/an excuse. make him know that your not going to be that girl, your dating him or you not theres no in between
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A lot of people go throught this but their parents usually wont let you act like your dating so thats kind of weird.
Talk to him and ask him if that is what his mom really said, or if he just wants to see other people.
Tell him that if he wants to see other people thats fine but your not going to be here forever, and your not just going to be his little rebound girl for when he decides that he really wants to be with you.
If his mom really doesnt like you two going out then maybe talk to him about talking to her because you really care for him and want to be with him.
In my book being friends with benefits doesnt make you a slut, but i do think its wrong if he is off with other girls.
Hope i helped =] if you need anything else feel free to go to my column and ask me personally.
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Oh, the old "mother" routine. The truth is, he's got an interest in someone or something else, and he wants to be able to say he wasn't cheating if the oppertunity to be with her comes up. He's still keeping things going with you because he's not sure what he wants.
Well, you are sure of what you want. You want your man to be all yours.
Now, here's the other thing...
He isn't really a bad guy. He could have gone cheating behind your back or he could have not even bothered to give you any explanation. He just can't put how he's really feeling into words without hurting you so he's blaming it on his mother.
Whatever you do, DO NOT be the friend with benifits becuase you really want a relationship with this guy and he is only going to get away with what you let him. You can't say, "Yes, I'll have sex with you unconditionally" because then it's not like one day he's going to suddenly realize that he wants to have sex with only you. Why should he? He knows he can have you any way he wants.
You and he are not married, so he is totally within his rights to explore. Be thankful he is respecting you enough to let you know what's up. He obviously really does care about you and want to be your friend, and being your friend should be benifit enough.
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From there:
I have found, firsthand, that the best way to get over a guy is to do the following:
Step 1: Have a really good cry.
- When my boyfriend and I broke up, I was super upset (like words cannot describe how bad I felt). But I told myself that I wasn't going to let it flip my entire world upside down. So I let myself have one really good cry, and then I told myself I'm going to start moving on. Which brings me to...
Step 2: Friends = lifesavers.
- Go to the mall and buy yourself something nice (don't over spend, though. Just something small, but nice. Like a new outfit or purse!) Or go see a movie, or out to dinner or something! Don't mope around your house all day doing nothing.
Step 3: Talk about it.
- It feels SO good to let it all out. Sit down with somebody you trust (for me, it was my mom) and just spill your heart out. Again, don't let it ruin your life or impact you too much.
Step 4: Move ON!
- Stop talking to him for a while (you need to give yourself time to get OVER him). Don't stalk his Facebook, spend time with other people, and don't even waste time TALKING about him.
Honestly, it's going to take time, and it's going to be hard, but once you get over him you will feel SO much better. I promise you that this guy is NOT worth wasting all of your time on, and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Go out and find a new guy that treats you right and is WORTH your time. Forget about this guy ASAP. You're young and have plenty of time for guys. And, as one of my favorite books puts it: The first boy is always the hardest.
Honestly:
Friends with benefits doesn't work, especially after a break-up. It just complicates things further, and causes you to get re-attached to your ex. This will make things even worse when THAT ends.
Your best bet is moving on and getting over him, this guy is NOT worth it.
-Laura (17-f)
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This guy hurt you right? Look don't be a girl that gets walked on. Technically now you guys are friends so you can date other guys. What if he calls you babe? I bet he says that to a lot of other girls. So move on to the next door and try to find another guy because this one doesn't respect you. In a relationship you need respect for each other which you don't even have. I advice you to get over this guy but be friends with him and his "moves"or whatever you call it. It will be hard if you like him a lot though. I also think you should be careful.
lifescomplicated
when another door closes. another door opens.
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I think you're doing the right thing. Explain to him that you don't want to do the whole friends with benefits thing. If you're not going to be dating, then there's no need to act like you're still dating. Stay friends & that's it. Friends with benefits can make things really complicated & it gets annoying.
Friends with benefits is a bad idea anyways. It usually doesn't work. The idea is for it to be fun and harmless, but somewhere along the lines someone develops feelings & then it gets awkward - especially if the other person doesn't feel the same way.
If your ex-boyfriend cannot accept the fact that you do not want to be friends with benefits, then he clearly isn't meant to be your friend either. But, if he really loves you & wants the best for you & for you to be happy, he'll understand & won't push anything you don't want on you.
Good luck. :) Sorry about the break-up.
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