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Phone boundaries?
18/m
I asked this question last august and you helped me out hopefully you remember:
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I talked to her about it and we plan on starting something up when she graduates.
Since then things have gone pretty much great. we've become even more close and talk even more frequently.
Every now and then something will come up but its usually just worry about the future. when ever she is feeling down about us I'll try to call her to talk to her about it and try to make her feel better (often she wont even tell me whats wrong) but she just ignores her phone. this is frustrating because i think thats when talking on the phone is the most important. she only will text which just frustrates things because she is so far away. I've tried to tell her how frustrating it is but she just tries to change the subject.
recently on aim she told me that talking on the phone was just something she didnt like. although she likes talking to me when times are good, she just doesnt like talking on the phone with people. i've asked her why and she says thats just how it goes.
i am 100% positive that she would never want to do anything to hurt what we have (she has said so) but phone is something that is very important in our situation. I cant come to her house at any time and console her and its next to impossible to show any emotion at all on aim or in texts. its not even that easy on the phone but thats the best we've got. ive asked her if her feelings for me have diminished and she says of course not. which makes everything ten times more confusing.
the other thing is often when things are good and i wanna just talk i have to persistantly urge her to get her to make time for the phone. im very lucky if i get one call every other week. it didnt used to be like this either. she used to talk often but now it had withered down to occasionally if she is alone and it isnt too late. or if i just call her she'll ignore it and then give some explanation in a text. idk its just insulting almost. am i overreacting? whats wrong with answering the phone and then telling me she cant talk? it really has started to get to me ever since she told me she doesnt like it. she said she cares about me. do i need to give her space? i really dont call that often, i try just maybe once a weekend or something.
ive thought about just not ever asking to talk again or even calling and just talking whenever she wants to. but im not sure if ill be able to do that. i really care about this girl. i want her to be happy and i want her to accomplish her goals. i havent really made a rukus about anything between us before cause i want things to work and pettiness isnt something that helps but this is something im just having a real hard time getting over.
im visiting her in 3 weeks for a week which is a real privelage. i hope things will change after the visit but im doubtful. its our first face to face since we met 2 years ago.
am i wrong?
what should i do?
does she need space?
(i dont think this is the case cause i talk to her all the time with other methods and if she doesnt want to call then we just text.)
talking to her about it is next to impossible. ive told her how frustrating it is and how it really bums me out but she doesnt answer.
sorry its so long
thanks for your help.
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If I didn't have such an amazing boyfriend already, I would totally go for you. You sound like the perfect guy o m gosh how CUTE! hahaha anywayyy :)
I read all your stuff from last August. I personally would have answered the same way the other two Advicenators answered. Tell her how you feel!
But sadly, either choice you took whether to tell her or not, could be a downfall.
See, now that you two confessed you like each other, but are going to wait...well, its almost like being in a relationship that's not quite final. If you do date other people, you feel guilty, and the other would just get all mad. So, your basically in a nonfinal long distance relationship.
I bet that trip out there does change things for you. But if not, I think you both should have a talk about it is OK to date other people. I know that would be hard, BUT if its meant to be, in the end of the 2 year wait, you'll be together.
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