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Long-distance friend
17/m
Im from North Carolina.
About a year ago I met a girl who is two years younger than me from Ohio at a convention in Saint Louis. We didnt talk much then but we swapped phone numbers and now we talk nearly every day; texts, instant messenger, myspace, phone call, etc. I really enjoy talking to her and im certain she does also. Since the convention, we have gotten to know eachother well and are great friends.
I now have feelings for her and I sense that she feels the same way but I dont like the idea of a long-distance relationship. I think it would just become too difficult to maintain despite how often we talk and how comfortable we are sharing things wigh eachother.
Neither of us have acknowledged any feelings but we often speak of relationships. Often she sulks about how all of her friends have boyfriends yet she is doubtful that she will ever have one. I assure her everytime that she most certainly will (not neccesarily me but just in general).
We have planned a trip with eachother for three years from now during the summer she graduates from Highschool. My plan was to not mention my feelings for her untill our trip because we will be older and will be able to visit more often. I could even move closer to her.
I am uncertain how she feels as far as long-distance relationships. I fear that if she does not feel the same way I do concerning them that she will assume that I am not interested in her and will lose interest in me before too long.
Because of this, I have considered talking with her about it but I am uncertain what to say. I dont want to start a relationship with her now because we are still young and it would be hard to maintain. However, I still dont want to ruin my chances of ever having one with her by not saying anything.
I need to make a decision but I think an outside opinion (or two) would be helpful first. Any advice that anyone has for me would be great. She is one in a million and I dont want to blow it.
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This is seriously so cute. I wish there were guys like you when I was younger.
Ahem. Anyway...
Chances are that she's already dangled a sort of line to you. To see if you'll bite or feel out if you have feelings for her. It's there, just gotta pay a wee bit of attention, haha. Like when she laments to not having a boyfriend, that kinda translates to "You should speak up if you like me like that."
Admitting feels for either party is not that easy. It's almost like a game of chicken you guys are playing: "Who's gonna say it first?" Since you guys have talked about relationships, a safe way to start would be during such conversation. You could ask her what she thinks of long distance relationships. Just outright like that. Her radar's gonna go off so pay very close attention to how she answers as well as what she answers. Because what she says is one thing. How she says it is an entirely different thing. Once she answers, you could tell her how you feel about long distance relationships. From there, hopefully, you'll feel a little bit more courageous to tell her how you feel.
Now, once everything's out in the open, you might want to slap on the fact that you think that you're both still young and it would be hard to maintain. when a guy bares his soul, lots of girls are usually very touched (see: various boybands and fangirl reactions) so she would see to it that she would be honest with you too. This is especially true if your friendship is as close as you say it is.
Best of luck!
Cheers,
stargirl
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aww that's so cute :)
I'm in this situation myself.I met this guy at a baseball game my sophomore year in high school we talked for like 4 hours we hardly payed attention to the game lol anyways,we exchanged numbers and we talked almost everyday through texts,phone calls,myspace,and aim.He lives a couple states over but visits at least twice a year where i live because his sister lives in my area which is nice.I still talk to him,not as much as i used too but we still talk.He's the same age as me so hopefully he's going to go to college here and maybe get something going :D he's like a guy version of me haha he's perfect.I would'nt suggest the long distance relationship thing,i tried that with my person and it dosent work at all, it really is difficult to do.So if i can wait almost 3 years for my guy you can certainly wait 3 years yourself lol Since your both young,wait till she graduates from high school,and try to have a relationship with her then because like you said you'd both be mature and more able to visit each other.If your bond is that strong,it can last through anything.I would tell her your feelings now,because from the way your explaining what she's telling to you it sounds to me like she has developed feelings for you also.Just say something like "you know that trip we planned after you graduate? well i wanted to know if you'd be willing to try and have a relationship when that day comes" or something like that.Don't be afraid to tell her your feelings,it'll be worth it in the long run ;)
Good Luck! and if you could,leave a message and tell me how it goes with her! i want a follow up on this! haha:D
♥ danielle
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