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Abuse?
My boyfriend's parents are really strict Christians, to the point where some of their rules are ridiculous. I respect that, though, so I don't complain.
However, there is one thing they do that is driving me crazy. My boyfriend's brother has five kids. Him and his wife live on the property, so the kids are always at his parent's house, so they watch them a lot.
Sometimes when the kids act up, they hit them. I understand maybe spanking here and there, but even then I'm a little iffy, but they take it way beyond that. His dad will hit them in the head for the smallest things. Usually he won't hit them very hard, but I feel like he shouldn't even be doing that at all. I'm afraid it can cause some kind of damage since they're still growing and everything. I haven't said anything yet because I don't want to cause problems, and any time someone says they have a problem with something he does, he'll pull some quote out of the bible to "justify" it. What should I do?
Another problem I have with them is they treat one kid way better than the others. There are two girls and three boys, and one of the boys had open heart surgery when he was a baby, but they still give him much better treatment than the others. He's around 6 or 7 maybe, but acts like a baby. He throws fits when he doesn't get his way, and pouts. I've never seen him get in any kind of trouble like the others, and they always claim he's the best, when honestly I think he behaves the worst. My boyfriend's mom even admits she spoils him, but she isn't doing anything to try to stop. So, basically, the other kids act up they get smacked in the head, but he always gets his way. What can I do about this, too?
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I really hate to say it but I really think that you need to call Child Protective Services. They can investigate the situation with the information that you've given them and you should be able to report it anonymously. Whether or not that father believes it or not, what he is doing IS ABUSE, and it WILL affect those kids well into adulthood. Unfortunately, I doubt that anything would change even if you did say or do something on your own. Don't feel guilty for calling CPS-- you are helping those kids, trust me.
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I think you should say something. Nothing can justify beating a child. I suggest you sit down in a room with just your boyfriend and his parents and discuss it. If they continue to beat the children, DO NOT report them to the CPA. That will only make matters worse.
As for the subject of them playing favorites, you alone really can't do anything about it. I suggest you talk to your boyfriend about it and see if he has any ideas as to what you should do about it. Since they are his parents, he should know the right thing to do.
Best of luck,
rosmon3
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It's not your place to evaluate whether his parents are playing favorites. Unfortunately it happens in a lot of families, and it's not your place to step in and say anything.
However nothing any of those children do justifies hitting, and it's your duty as a good person to say something about it. A lot of parents spank their children. I was spanked by my father and grandparents. I do not consider it abuse, because some parents believe spanking is okay if it teaches your children right from wrong. Now I personally do not agree, but I turned out okay. However if he is hitting these children in the head, that is NOT okay. And unfortunately it's most likely worse when you are not around. You should definitely mention it to your boyfriend, and if things continue you should tell someone.
He cannot justify abusing a child if that is what he's doing. Christians are supposed to be good people, and beating children is the opposite of that. He is NOT a Christian, he is a hyporcite.
You should tell someone if you feel it's really serious.
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Im very sorry to say this, but I dont really think that there is anything you can do. If you tell them that you dont think they are treating the kids right, it will just cause more harm than good. I highly doubt they would change the way that they treat the kids and it would just make things akward and may even make them not like you. I understand where your coming from, it would bother me too, but I think your better off just biting your tongue and maybe try to not be around as much when they are watching the kids. Its a shame, but I think its probably best.
Good luck.
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