|
EVERYONES OPINION PLEASE!
Ok so i already posted this once but i didnt get as much feedback as i wanted. Please read this and tell me what you think. I had to write it for english it is loves/loses. Thanks in advance!
I love you now,
I lost you yet,
I will always be here.
Don’t you fret
I know it hurts
But life goes on
I will try not to listen
To those sappy love songs,
Cause when I do,
I think of you
And what we used to be,
I just wish you would see
I gave you everything,
Yet you pushed me away,
I promise I will miss you,
Every single day
Me and you,
We can find a way,
And maybe…just maybe
We can be together someday.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: School?
Okay.
I hate poems, and it's never deep or touching for me. But i think you did a good job because some parts actually made me think and i felt something.
No, i cannot explain the feeling but i think it was nice. So i admire your poem.
Good Luck =]=]
]
wow! you are a really talented writter! this is a great poem! I think to make it flow better, you should try this (you dont have to it is just my own personal opinion)
in the first phrase try this:
I love you now
I lost you yet
I'll always be here
Don't forget
and in the third phrase, try this:
'cause when i do
I think of you,
what we used to be
I just wish you could see
In the forth phrase try this:
I gave you everything,
you pushed me away,
I promise I'll miss you,
every single day
I know it's alot but its just my imput, you dont have to take it
]
wow i wish i could write poetry as good as that!ive actually added this to my favorities!so dont take this down! hehe (not that id steal it jus a good thing to either cry or smile to)its so good!i really hope you get the grade your aiming for and higher! =Dyou got the loves vs losses thing really good =Dwell done!
]
This is an amazing poem. You really captured how love/losses mean to some people. It's a beautiful poem. I hope you got a good grade on it because you deserve it. You're a talented writer.
xoxo,
Brianna
]
More Questions: |