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Ugh... SO not the "highest form of flattery" :/
I have this friend. Well, we USED to be best friends. However, throughout a couple years, I've kind of matured a bit and learned a lot and what not. She hasn't. So we're growing apart. The thing is, she is and always has been copying me. When we first met, she made friends with all of my friends. She got her hair dyed and cut to match mine, she was interested in all the guys I was, she called us "twins" all the time, and she basically did ALL the same stuff as me ALL the time. Yeah, yeah I know it's supposed to be the highest form of flattery, but to me, it's the highest form of annoyance. I don't know why I put up with it for as long as I have. Well, over Christmas I got a brand new phone which I had been waiting FOREVER for. It was so cool because it was SUPER expensive so no one around where I live had it. Then I came in to school today and she has the EXACT same phone as me. Same model, same color! This seriously struck something in me. It's like she's trying to be me and it's majorly creepy and disturbing. I know we're growing apart, but I don't want her to take MY unique qualities that she adapted to with her. They aren't her, they're me :( I just don't know...how do I get her to stop? And possibly completely distance myself from her? I just don't have time to worry about silly friend issues when I've got my school work and family issues to deal with :( thanks
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I kind of think your blowing this out of proportion. How old are you? Are you in middle school? or like a freshman in high school or something? It's not her fault you have good taste in things. You wouldn't copy someone because you want to be just like them, you copy them because you like what they have, at least that's how I look at it. If she is your best friend (or was) doesn't that mean that the two of you have a lot of similar interests? So, of course she would like the same things you do..
If it really bothers you that much.. just be like "oh wow you have like everything i do, its so weird" and kinda laugh so it doesn't seem mean or anything. She'll probably take the hint..
I also don't get why this is something you would even worry about anyway. If you have all this school work and family things to worry about..why is this even coming into your mind? You're honestly making a way bigger deal about this then necessary, let it go. If that is the only reason why you don't like this girl because she steals your 'uniqueness' then that is a really lame reason to throw away a friendship..
Also, I mean do you wear really in style clothing and stuff? Because that is kind of like copying whats in style right now, and everything when you think about it. I'm sure everything you have and do isn't all your own ideas, you probably got it from somewhere too, whether its a magazine or from someone in school or something. She just happens to like everything you have.
I forgot to add something else, why I was asking about your age, if your in middle school or like even high school, she is probably just going through a identity crisis. It takes some people longer to figure out who they are, and their exact interests and everything.
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Buying a super expensive phone is a unique quality?
lolz
EDIT:
That is advice. It's a comment on your interpretation of uniqueness and the rolls wealth and being special via circumstance have for you. But thanks for not giving me a 1.
EDIT Empire Strikes Back:
It should be helpful, otherwise you're not having an open mind with yourself. You have a larger, more personal problem that some idiot friend copying you. That's what I think.
EDIT Return Of The Jedi:
Your comment about your super expensive phone was just so ridiculous that it defined your entire question. And when giving advice, why should I be confined to the actual question? If someone in an abusive relationship came up to you and asked for advice on making burritos, would you really just leave it at that? People like claiming I "put everyone down" because it makes them feel better. They don't like thinking that there was a defining element about them that made them subject to "ridicule" (eye of the beholder; what can be seen as ridicule I see as extra-curricular advice giving). Go through my column, you'll see the ratio of put-downs to actual question addressing advice. On a side note, you have a nice voice in your writing.
EDIT I'm out of original Star Wars movies:
"Your answers are usually good, but sometimes in a mocking manner and seem to be more for your own enjoyment then for the actual well being of the asker." Absolutely. In no way am I here for the questioner, this is 100 percent for my own amusement. If I can actually help someone, lovely. If I can't, tough. Been that way since I was 13 on this site, and it'll always be that way.
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I agree, when people copy you to THAT extent, it can be extremely irritating. Remind your friend of her own good attributes. Compliment things that she has that you don't have. It sounds like she has a confidence issue and is seeing you as the solution. If she doesn't stop her copying ways, you're going to have to end the friendship. It sounds like this is really getting to you and, as you said, you don't have time to worry about things like this with everything else that goes on in life. She'll move on and start copying someone new until she finds her own sense of style and uniqueness.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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i use to have a friend just like this. it is so annoying, but one day i realized who cares? i stopped talking to her and told her she just wanted to be like me. i laughed about it in my head and now we dont speak anymore. she has a new bestfriend and now shes completly like that girl. some people are just like that though, but just remember, whooo cares?
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