OK So i recently got back with my girl nd A few nghts ago she asked me if i wanted to make out of course i said yes and while we were she was like trying to go down with her hand and feel me up right and um i liked it it felt amazing and like then u know it got further in and i was a virgin so like first she took me over to the bed i asked her if she was sure and she said yea so like we undressed each other and we were both fuly naked so then um she laid on top of me and put my dickup right and um like two seconds in i noticed i was inside her i dont know why but i didnt like the feeling so i pulled out and shes mad at me any reason why???
What you need to do is talk to her about it. If you just ignore it and wait until it gets better then she will still in the back of her head, feel like your not attracted to her and she doesnt turn you on. Make sure she knows how you feel about her and tell her what your reason was for pulling out. If she understands it then she wont be mad or hurt anymore. [ elw5039's advice column | Ask elw5039 A Question ]
amygwen answered Monday April 27 2009, 11:15 am: She probably was just really looking forward to it & since you stopped you just made her angry. And since it was your first time and it only lasted like "2 seconds" that's the only reason it didn't feel good, and you both probably weren't properly prepared. It takes a lot of practice and stuff for it to feel good, so yeah. There's really no reason for her to be mad at you, the only reason she is, is because maybe she thinks you don't want to have sex with her or something like that. If you don't want to, then let her know. Just apologize & see what happens. [ amygwen's advice column | Ask amygwen A Question ]
OldMan answered Monday April 27 2009, 8:06 am: Girls are strange. That's why you are confused. I'm married to the strangest of the lot - now that I've figured her out, all of them make sense. This one is easy to figure out!
She is mad because she is embarrassed. Nearly every time a woman is mad at you, it's because in some way you've diminished her self-worth. A girl who will have sex with you is supposed to be the holy grail for a teenage boy, and you stopped. She was supposed to be guaranteed that you would think she was fantastic, because she was putting out. But when you freaked out, it made her feel rejected. Now, as above, she's questioning her self-worth, and it's because of you.
Her response to this is to treat you as though you don't deserve her. The reason for this is also strange - by deciding you're crap, she doesn't have to feel hurt that you rejected her. See - you don't count, so it doesn't matter what you think. That's how chicks think. (Actually, all of this is subconscious. She's not thinking about it at all. It's just how women operate.)
The worst thing you can do is identify any of these things to her. Don't tell her you understand she's embarrassed. She probably hasn't thought it through rationally enough to realise it for herself. All she knows is you made her angry - and if you try to tell her the problem is she's embarrassed, you will make it sound like the problem is all her AND you'll come across as a smarmy bastard or condescending, or something similar.
What you want to do is find something else to blame. Maybe you can tell her your penis was injured playing sport and you were embarrassed to say anything, but you're "all better now". Or maybe you can say you were just worried that you would get her pregnant - it sounds like you weren't using a condom. You can say you freaked out because of that and didn't know what to do. Depending on the chick, expressing some vulnerability like that might help. Maybe you can say you thought you were supposed to stop so she didn't feel you were trying to take advantage of her. Then you come across as a nice guy, which depending on the chick might help. However, some chicks don't want a vulnerable or nice guy. (Those woman are by definition skanks and you're better off without them.)
Whatever it is, make it an excuse so it's not her fault (remember, she doesn't even realise she thinks it's her fault), and if possible make it not your fault either.
Young chicks are suckers for fairly basic romantic moves, so flowers and a poem are a good start. Don't mention the pullout fiasco in the poem, for Christ's sake.
Only if she is willing to talk to you after your romantic move should you bother trying to excuse yourself.
Remember, you have nothing to feel ashamed about. It's your body. I wasn't all that ready either. This is all just an exercise in managing the situation. You just want her to feel better, and the way to do that with a chick is remove her responsibility for her predicament. Take the blame yourself or blame something else. This is advice which which is always true of women.
If you think that makes me sexist, well you're right. But I'm equally sexist about my own gender. We men are stupid, sex-obsessed, insecure morons who secretly just want a woman who will accept our many shortcomings. Only a fool can fall in love with a pair of pretty eyes or put up with endless, mindless conversation with a simpleton just because she has nice legs. But we do it. We're idiots.
Women are self-centred fools who never want to be blamed for anything. The reason you can't tell sexist jokes around women is that no matter who the butt of the joke actually is, any woman hearing it will think you're talking about her. Women personalise everything - anything you do or say, she automatically relates it back to her. In the true sense of the world, they are selfish, because everything is "about" them. (This isn't said nastily. I don't mean selfish in the sense that she puts herself first, just that she relates everything to herself.)
And they'll be downright bitches to you if that means they don't have to feel bad about something you said or did; by reducing you to "nothing", it doesn't matter what you think.
So, while your girlfriend is being unreasonable, you're still tying yourself in knots trying to figure out why, and what to do. That's because you're a stupid man :). she's being unreasonable. The "fair" thing to do is leave her to figure it out for herself, and to hell with her if she can't. But you're a guy, so you want to put up with her crap and sort out the problem.
She's trying to cope with it being "her fault" that you "didn't want her". That's because she's a stupid woman :). The truth is that your actions had nothing to do with her, she'll never realise it, and you can't ever tell her because it will make you seem like you're condescending to her, which will piss her off even more.
uberlou answered Monday April 27 2009, 5:12 am: She's probably upset that you didn't react how she was expecting you to. She was probably thinking you were going to have this mindblowing moment. You were simply caught off-guard by the whole situation it seems.
She shouldn't be mad at you, but she's probably taking it personally like it's her fault you didn't like it or something. Maybe you should just sit her down and tell her you don't feel ready to take that step yet. Assure and remind her that it wasn't her fault. You're just not personally comfortable or ready.
If she's not willing to accept and respect that, then she doesn't deserve to be with you. Relationships are all about trust and comfort with one another, man. Don't let yourself be pressured by her and take it at your own pace.
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